There’s more than one way to keep it real
“Keeping it real” is a catch-phrase for being truthful in one’s dealings with the world. It involves being someone who does not shy away from what needs to be said or done.
For those of us who have ever pursued a goal of any kind, however, we know the line between keeping it real and compromising what matters most is not always very easy to draw.
Sometimes there are competing versions of what’s “real.” For instance, if you wish to wake up at 6am to go jogging and waking up early is new for you, you might find staying in bed to be more in alignment with your impulses and instincts. Yet, pushing yourself to get up and get started may be in greater alignment with your long-term priorities.
So, which version of reality do you fight to keep? Do you keep it real in relationship to your habitual impulse to stay in bed or do you keep it real in relationship to your desire to get in shape?
In relationship to dealing with people who make us angry, do you keep it real to your right to complain no matter how much it drains you to do so or do you keep it real to your desire to live a happy and healthy life?
When you really think about it, it becomes clear that all of us are keeping it real all of the time in relationship to some aspect of who we are, what we want, and how we feel.
No matter which way you go, you’ll be keeping it real. It’s just a matter of which version of reality you’ll be keeping.
Some of them will serve you in a beneficial manner while others will not.
Keep your eyes on the prize“Be ye angry, and sin not” -The Book of Ephesians, Chapter 4, Verse 26
The original greek word for “sin” in the above passage literally means to “miss the mark.”
The state of being angry is not a sin and it is unhealthy to ever condemn ourselves merely for feeling upset. It is the decision to act on anger in ways that contradict our best interests, however, that causes us to miss the mark.
We must learn to process our feelings of anger in a way that does not cost us our ability to achieve our aim in life.
Use anger as a segue for self-awareness
When we use anger as segues for self-awareness, it allows us to take personal responsibility for our experience. It’s important to note that in the world of positive psychology, “responsibility” is not the same as “blame.” “Blame” is when you punish yourself with guilt. “Responsibility” is when you recognize that you play a role, consciously or unconsciously, in all of your experiences. This recognition, rather than functioning as a basis for self-blame, empowers you with the conviction that you are capable of creating new and improved experiences.
Wayne Dyer said it best: “Responsibility means you have the power to RESPOND with ABILITY!” When we realize this, it becomes easier to let go of anger because we cease identifying with victim-consciousness.
At the heart of uncontrolled and mis-directed anger, is the feeling of not being in charge, or “at-cause” , in one’s life. You can’t help but remain stuck in anger when you genuinely believe other people have the power to force you to feel emotions against your own influence. Highlighting the role YOU play, significantly reduces this effect.
Well, my friends, I hope you have found these recent posts on anger helpful. If you have any questions or suggestions for further discussion on anger, please let me know. As for now, that’s my two cents.