At the beginning of the month, i wrote a post called Kiss the Frog: Creating happiness through the power of appreciation. Yesterday, I returned to that theme with Why kissing frogs isn’t as gross as it sounds. Today, I’ll share with you a recent dialogue with my inner skeptic on the topic I covered in those aforementioned posts. My hope is that it will contribute to a more refined understanding of how an attitude of appreciation, and the happiness it provides, can help us powerfully transform our lives. I hope you enjoy. Cheers 🙂 – T.K.
Q: So let me get this straight, TK. According to your ideas on happiness and appreciation, If I’m broke, you want me to be happy?
Q: But I can’t be happy about being broke. Being broke stinks and I refuse to be satisfied with that.
Q: But I thought you said I should be happy about being broke?
A: No, I didn’t say be happy ABOUT being broke. If being broke makes you sad, that’s a good thing. Knowing what you DON”T want helps you to understand what you DO want.
Q: So What ARE you saying?
A: I’m saying be happy PERIOD!! Be Happy and don’t let being broke seduce you into coming out of your happy state. Your “happy state” is where your power lies.
Q: How do I do that?
A: Easy. It always feels good to focus on what you do want and it always feels bad to focus on what you don’t want. When you feel unhappy, recognize that it’s only because your attention is focused in that moment on what you do not want. For instance, when you think about all the hardships and inconveniences associated with being broke, it makes you feel angry, frustrated, bitter, sad, helpless, etc. Use those moments of negative emotion as an opportunity to identify what you DO want. When you identify what you DO want, start focusing your attention on THAT. Not only will you feel better, but the new-found energy you feel will actually carry you closer towards the manifestation of your desire.
Being happy isn’t the result of forcing yourself to feel good about what you don’t want. It’s about enjoying the natural feeling of joy that comes from focusing your attention on what you do want.
Q: Okay, that sounds great and all BUT, I DO think about what I want and it still doesn’t feel good.
Q: I’m telling you the truth.
A: That’s a common misconception. Many people THINK they’re focusing on what they DO want, but in reality they’re attention is still pointed in the opposite direction.
A: Every topic contains two subjects;
1) The presence of what is wanted
2) The absence of what is wanted
Q: Be more specific
A: Okay, take money for instance. The topic of money has 2 subjects;
1) the presence of money
2) the absence of money
You can focus on either one of those subjects and still be on the same topic of money. You can know exactly HOW you are focusing based on how you feel. When you focus on #1 the presence of money, it feels great. When you focus on #2 the absence of money, it feels bad.
Lots of people think they’re focused on what they want and they are just really focusing on the negative aspects of that topic.
Pay close attention to the following statements:“I want more money because I hate not being able to pay my bills” “I need a car because I’m tired of walking everywhere” “Our communication needs to improve because I’m sick of fighting” “I’m looking for a new job because this one doesn’t pay enough” “I want to feel better because I am in so much pain.”
They’re all variations of the same theme: I want THAT because I HATE THIS.
They’re saying they want THAT but all the attention is focused on the negative aspects of not having it.
Now, pay close attention to these statements:
In all the above statements, the energy is focused around what you love rather than what you hate. what you wish to create rather than what you wish to eliminate. The joyful aspects of your desire being present rather than the frustrating aspects of your desire being absent.
If you say all those statements out loud, you’ll notice that they feel differently too. The second group of statements carries a whole different kind of energy.
You can feel that energy. That energy is creative energy. It’s the very energy that will help you change the things that make you unhappy.
You don’t have to settle for less than a thrilling, adventurous, and abundant life. You have the right to demand the very best from yourself and your world. You can and will realize your full potential. BUT it order to do that, You’ve gotta put more attention on where you’re headed than on where you are right now.
Feeling good isn’t about being satisfied with mediocrity. It’s about being so determined to get the most out of life that you refuse to let temporary hardships rob you of the spiritual power that lies in your connection to joy.