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Once upon a time, I lost my job. I blamed the manager who fired me for not understanding my position. In my mind, I was right.

Being right did not get my old job back nor did it win me a new one.

Once upon a time, I was academically dismissed from college. I blamed the university for not providing me with enough support. I also blamed my friends for using peer pressure to lure me into time-wasting activities. In my mind, I was right.

Being right did not negate my dismissal from school.

Once upon a time, my brand new car was completely ruined in an accident. I blamed the driver who hit me for being an “idiot.” In my mind, I was right.

Being right did not save me a dime nor did it get me a new car.

I’ve lost a lot of time, money, and energy at various points in my life. In each case, I was able to identify a specific person or institution as the guilty party. My ability to do this has never caused me to win any awards, prizes, or satisfaction.

Nothing changed in my life, until I decided that I wanted to stop winning arguments and start winning the joy that comes as a reward for taking charge of your own life.

Blame is the emotional equivalent of “fool’s gold”: It seems to be of great value on the surface, but in reality it has no cash value.

After we’re done complaining about what someone else should have done, we must still come back to the realization of this humbling truth:

If you don’t make your desires and dreams come true, no one else will do it for you.

Don’t become an expert at finger-pointing. Become an expert at doing whatever it takes, mentally and physically, to live your best life.

That’s my two cents,

T.K. Coleman

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