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The cure for envy

Why are we so bothered by the person who won the lottery, attracted their ideal lover, received the promotion, caught a lucky break, created massive wealth, found a great job, kept their resolutions, achieved their life goals, or realized their dreams? Are those the results we wish we were getting in OUR lives? Is our harsh judgement of another moving us any closer to what WE want? 

The Diagnosis

When we’re truly satisfied with what we have, we’re invulnerable to the experience of envying other people’s good fortune.

Envy is never about the other person. It’s always a projection of our own self-condemnation. The act of lamenting another person’s joy, indirectly expresses the shame, guilt, and sorrow we feel for not successfully actualizing our own possibilities.

The Antidote

Creative involvement in the goals, ideas, and activities one feels passionate about is one of history’s most time-tested cures for envy. Just as sure as paper covers rock, scissors cut paper, and rock breaks scissors, creativity kills envy.

Instead of casting thought-rays of disapproval at those who are living the good life, we can let their happiness motivate us to create our own compelling stories of good fortune.

The Prescription

When you feel envious towards another, use that as an opportunity to identify the areas in your life where your physical, psychological, and/or spiritual needs are being neglected or unmet.

Then roll up your sleeves and go to work inside of your mind, until you’ve replaced all scornful thoughts of others with life-giving reflections on your dreams, your worthiness of their fulfillment, and your power to make them real.

You have your own version of the good life just waiting for you to take charge and create it. So, turn envy into energy and use it to propel your life forward in meaningful and exciting ways.

Don’t sing the blues over someone else’s good news. Allow their excitement to strike your chords so you can compose your own lovely tune.

Just don’t forget to invite me to your concert,

Cheers 🙂

T.K. Coleman

This Post Has 4 Comments
  1. Thank you for this look at envy. As I’m off to the gym where I hear myself acknowledge others are looking fitter than me .. and thus I am disappointed with myself … I will go with a new set of eyes. I can actually feel the excitement to move more and feel the success of it for myself. And I am forwarding this message to the boyfriend as I hear him condemn all those who get pensions … time for him to change his tune and get creative.

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