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My disagreements with you are none of your business

If you’ve ever had a single idea pass through your mind, the chances are decent that I disagree with some aspect of your worldview.

I’ve never read or listened to a single person whose every concept resonated with me. So, I doubt that you are an exception.

Heck, I don’t even agree with myself 100% of the time.

The chances are equally high, however, that I will never tell you who I disagree with, even if that person is you.

Why?

Because my disagreements with you (or anyone else), are none of your business.

You don’t need me to set you straight

One of the most time/energy-saving ideas I adopted in the past six months is the notion that I don’t need to tell YOU what I think is “wrong” with YOUR philosophy in order to be true to the beliefs that work for ME.

I have also realized that listening to others without expressing objections to what they say is in no way an act of disloyalty towards my personal values. It simply means that I know how to listen.

I have also become extremely selfish in the sense that I rarely, if ever, engage in activities that pull me away from moving my creative projects forward, showing the people in my life how much I love them, or immersing myself in my spiritual calling.

Telling you that I disagree with you requires time and energy that I’ve already alloted to activities which fall under those aforementioned categories.

So, if you post a Facebook status, for instance, that says “Hate rules the world” or “Optimists are so stupid” or “Good things never ever happen”, I hope that I’m too busy focusing my attention on something or someone I love to even notice what you wrote. But if I still noticed anyhow, I would not stop what I was doing in order to point out your errors. Nor would I take the time to converse with anyone else about how “wrong” you are.

I would regard my disagreement with you as none of your business.

Shouldn’t you be honest with those you love?

Does this mean I will never seek to help people by providing them with alternative perspectives?

Absolutely not!

If people ask me what I think, I will tell them (assuming I have the time and I believe it will help).

Sometimes, love is best expressed by showing others how their beliefs might be in conflict with THEIR own goals.

Before expressing my love in that way, however, I would need to have some sort of evidence of that being the case. I would not assume that their beliefs are “bad” simply because they conflicted with my sensitivities nor would I assume that they were interested in my intervention.

Agreement & disagreement are too theoretical for me

I’m not big on agreement or disagreement, to be honest. If I agree with an idea, but I don’t use it, then my agreement has no practical value. If I disagree with an idea without identifying and acting upon ideas that I do agree with, then there’s no practical value in my disagreement.

Being agreeable or disagreeable might make me look smart, cool, enlightened, polite, rebellious, unique, or whatever, but the actual quality of my life doesn’t budge one bit until I put the ideas I agree with to use.

Life has taught me that disagreeing with people doesn’t get me anywhere. That’s not the same as saying that I am afraid to disagree. Not at all. I don’t buy into every idea I hear. It’s just that I’m so busy studying and using ideas that I agree with, that spending my energy on what I disagree with wastes my time.

So if you’re going around stirring up controversy, then unless you’re paying money to have someone disagree with you, I will keep on moving because my disagreements with you are none of your business.

And that is why I rarely, if ever, feel any stress at all over what other people believe.

That’s my two cents,

T.K Coleman

This Post Has 4 Comments
  1. Thanks for sharing this article! I so needed to hear this right now. As your friend and mine, Jeffery Combs often says, “You can be right, or you can be rich”. But as human nature would have it, especially in the Direct sales/Network marketing Industry where you grow teams of people, I often find myself wanting to “share” my opinion way to often, when in reality my opinions really should be kept myself!

    1. You nailed it with that Jeffery Combs quote. I had to learn this lesson the hard way myself, but now that I’ve learned, it makes life so much more stress-free. Thanks a million for reading and commenting.

      Cheers,

      T.K.

  2. “Everybody agreeing makes for a very dull chat.” (Dorothy Parker, I think.)

    You seem to be very focused on sharing your point of view, rather than trying to convince others
    to agree with you. Therefore, non-threatening, open to divergent views and fluidity of thought
    without being a wishy-washy schmoo.

    You also seem to be focused on understanding the other person’s point of view rather than trying to change their view.

    Sounds also like you’re saying that it’s more important to be striving towards what you’re “for” rather than fighting what you’re “against”. Seems to me the “for” (positive) then helps to dismantle the “against” (negative).

    Offering alternatives instead of shadowboxing debates?

    I can be quite passionate about ideas, but this isn’t meant to try and convince others. (Though
    it may come across that way sometimes.)

    So, when we’re talking about a trunk, is it a suitcase, an elephant’s nose, or the back storage
    area of a car? Wonder how many people are arguing about something needlessly too?

    A two-fold mission: Explaining one’s own point of view and understanding the other person’s
    point of view. Keeping ideas open and healthy to exploration.

    As ever, your posts are thought-provoking.

    Regards,

    Alana

    1. Hi Alana 🙂

      I absolutely LOVE our convos and I look forward to them tremendously. It’s been a crazy week and I’ve been hopping online fast enough to write a post then jumping off. I’ll be catching up tomorrow. I’ll see you then. Looking forward to more of this stimulating dialogue 🙂

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