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Put the odds in your favor

“Someone told me love would all save us. But, how can that be? Look at what love gave us. A world full of killing and blood spilling. That world never came. And they say that a hero could save us. I’m not gonna stand here and wait.” -Nickleback, Hero

Are you waiting for someone to ask you “what’s wrong”?

Are you waiting for someone to call you and check to see if you’re okay?

Are you waiting for someone to defend your position?

Are you waiting for your boss, coworker, customer, employee, friend, or family member to notice how dissatified you are?

Here’s today’s two cents:

Everybody has problems and most people think their particular set of challenges are more difficult and pressing than everyone else’s. So, if you’re waiting for someone to place your problems at a higher priority than their own individual concerns, you’re playing the lotto; it will be amazing if you win, but the odds are not in your favor.

When we were children, all we had to do was cry and someone would come along to sort out our problems for us.

It’s still okay to cry, but the growing up part doesn’t happen until you stop waiting for someone to come rescue you.

If you need something, speak up. If you have a problem, ask for help. If you’re dissatisfied, file a complaint. If you want change, take initiative. If you want to get lucky, create your own chances. If you’re going to gamble on anything, gamble on yourself.

That’s my two cents.

Cheers,

T.K. Coleman

This Post Has 4 Comments
  1. I must be an odd ball out. I do not put my friends’ or family members’ problems before mine but my problems are so minor a lot of the time that I can handle them on most occasions. Though when my problems need more than what I can do and I do ask for help from an outside source it seems that I do not get the help I am asking for. I have cried, I have cried a lot, most of the time I was not waiting to be heard and saved, but there were those few times when it would have been nice for someone to ask whether I was okay or not. Is it so out of the ordinary for a person to ask another person how they are feeling? I ask every person I know or have met in the past how they are mentally, physically or emotionally. Is it too much to ask of another person to get this in return? I do not wait for help, I do eventually get even my bigger problems under my own control, but it would be nice to be asked what is wrong in my life. It’s funny though, technically I am still a child in most people’s eyes and yet I do not cry to have another person take care of me. I just want people to ask occasionally.

    Cheers
    Emmy

    1. I don’t think you’re an odd person out, Emmy. And you raise very fair questions. I can relate to the experience of asking for help and not getting it, or of wanting someone to check on me and not receiving it. I think our desire for sympathy and support is legitimate. It just seems to be the case that sympathy and support is one of life’s blessings that we have to be grateful when we receive, but gracious when unavailable. There have been times when I’ve shared important milestones, challenges, questions, and achievements with people I am extremely close to–the very people who say “call me if you ever need anything–only to have them respond with little empathy or interest. I’ve spent a lot of time being disappointed by such people, but the quality of my life has been significantly aided by efforts at learning to be open-minded and forgiving towards those who fail to meet my “simple and reasonable” expectations. Is it really that hard for people to ask other people how they are feeling? To me, the answer to that question would be an easy “no”, but that requires me to make a lot of assumptions about what’s easy for other people. I’ve come to appreciate just how common it is for people to be so alienated from their own sense of alignment that they simply lack the presence, mental capital, and emotional bandwidth to be there for others. I’ve come to appreciate just how common of an experience it is for my definition of “easy” to be another person’s definition of “difficult.” I genuinely believe that most people are doing their best, even when their best is not enough. And sometimes we’ll never know all the details surrounding why people fail us. All we can really do is love our own selves unconditionally, thank the heavens when others show love towards us, and demonstrate an attitude of non-judgmental compassion towards those whose let us down. But, ultimately, I agree. It’s a very wonderful thing to simple be loved, appreciated, and assisted without having to ask.

      Cheers,

      TK

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