We all have to deal with flakers, fakers, and takers–people who promise you things and fail to deliver; people who lie to your face and gossip about you behind your back; and people who will try to take advantage of you at every turn.
They’ll say “call me” and refuse to pick up. They’ll say “I’ll be there” and pull a no-call/no-show. They’ll tell you “look to your right” while they try to steal your money from the left.
I have to deal with these kinds of people. I’m sure you have to deal with them as well. Let’s not get into a contest over who’s had the harder life (I rarely meet people who think they would lose that contest, by the way). Let’s just grant each other the premise that we all have to deal with flakers, fakers, and takers in our own unique way.
Here’s today’s two cents:
If you wake up in 5 years (or 5 days) and your life isn’t looking the way you want it to look, people will not be lining up to hear your story about the guy who let you down, the girl who took advantage of you, or the person who never paid you back. Very few people are going to care about the fact that you “almost made it'”or that your life “should have been different” than what it actually is.
Stories about people who never fulfilled their dreams, never realized their potential, never found happiness, never recovered from heartbreak, or never bounced back from adversity because of some antagonist who got in their way are a dime a dozen. Although your sufferings are unique to you, as mine are to me, it’s doubtful that we’ll be treated as if our particular set of challenges are significant, noteworthy, or historical.
This world, however cruel it may seem, is going to judge you by your results. And if you don’t get the results you need, those flakers, fakers, and takers will not be around to accept blame or to feel shame for you. It’s going to be on you every time. If you owe money to someone, for instance, your debtor doesn’t want to hear your story about the friend who never paid you back. They want their money and they want it from you. The friend who screwed you over, financially, is your problem, as far as they are concerned, not theirs.
And this isn’t just the case with paying your bills. Everything works this way.
Your dreams are yours to fulfill. Your happiness is yours to create. Your health is yours to maintain. Your trials and tribulations are yours to overcome.
For the sake of argument, let’s assume that the negative aspects of your life are someone else’s fault. What now? You still have to take the responsibility for determining what happens next.
The last time I checked, no one was giving out paychecks, academy awards, job opportunities, record deals, or even free cups of coffee to people just for feeling screwed over, ripped off, or taken advantage of.
“T.K., are you saying my problems don’t matter?”
No! I’m saying your problems will never matter to anyone more than they matter to you. And if you’re banking your health, happiness or success on someone caring about your problems (or dreams) as much as you do, then….well, just let me know how that works out. Honestly, let me know how that works out.
To be fair, I am sure that somebody out there does care. It may be me. It may be a parent. It may be a friend, stranger, or angel from above. But even then, those people can’t save you. Their sympathy and encouragement can only take you so far.
The only thing that will save or damn you is your answer to the following question:
Will I allow the evils of the world to destroy me or will I show this world that there is more to who I am than the unfair, senseless, and cruel things that happen to me?