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The idiot’s guide to idiots

I’ve had people say to me, “T.K., I can appreciate your optimism, but let’s face it…some people are just idiots.”

Hmmm…

Now, I don’t think anybody is an idiot, but I also don’t think it’s possible to convince people of that. The belief in idiocy is pretty etched in the mass consciousness at this point, so I won’t take the resistant path by challenging it.

So, some people are just idiots! Let’s run with that as our premise.

Here’s today’s two cents:

The moment your happiness becomes dependent on “idiots” not acting like “idiots”, then all you can really do is hope you get lucky enough to never run into anybody that you think is an “idiot.”

That’s pretty much it! Those are your options right there!

That’s a tough way to live!

There’s nothing wrong with that approach. After all, optimism is not a religion that you’re evil for failing to practice. You have the right to blame as many people as you’d like for as much as you’d like and, as far as I’m concerned, you and I would still be equals. So, this has nothing to do with being right or wrong. You’re probably still smarter than me,  better looking than me, and richer than me EVEN IF you spend tons of energy finger-pointing and fault-finding.

BUT…

While your beliefs are your prerogative, it’s important to remember that every idea isn’t going to take you to the same place.

Some ideas will produce results you don’t like. Other ideas will produce results you do like.

If your goal is to produce results that you like, it behooves you to update your ideas when they fail to deliver.

If “some people are just idiots” is the explanation for your frustration, then the “idiots” get to be in control of your life because that’s the price you have to pay for the luxury of being able to blame them.

This isn’t something I think is fair, by the way. I don’t believe this is how the universe OUGHT to be.

HOWEVER, there’s just no way to feel free or secure (apart from getting lucky) if your quality of life hinges on the elimination or absence of those who behave inconsistently with your personal standards for intelligence and integrity.

I don’t know about you, but I’m not a fan of playing the emotional lotto or rolling the dice with my feelings.

Nothing feels more powerless, stressful, and nerve-wrecking to me than waking up in the morning and vaguely hoping that it’s going to be a good day. Wait a minute…you mean it’s not up to me???

I’d rather be in the driver’s seat in my own life, but I can’t be in the driver’s seat if someone’s idiocy has the power to ruin my day.

I need more options than that.

I need a way to maintain my positive vibration on those days when the idiots just wont quit.

I need a way to access my internal happy place on those days when I can’t just run and tell some authority figure to make the idiots go away.

I need a way to stay emotionally available for my family on those days when the idiots don’t respond to my diplomatic efforts to get them to stop acting idiotically.

I need a way to take charge of my state on the days when the idiots have the resources, connections, and power to get away with whatever they want.

“Yeah, well I know how to deal with idiots. I can just punch them in the face or give them a piece of my mind.”

What’s your plan for that one day when you run into an idiot who’s bigger, stronger, and louder than you?

What’s your plan for that one day when you can’t physically remove yourself from the idiot’s presence?

Do you have any options for those days?

I do.

It’s called “getting inside of my own head before anyone else does.”

Is my way better than yours? Absolutely not!

But if your way isn’t making you happy on an everyday basis and being happy on an everyday basis is something you want, I suggests you take the time to make your mind “idiot proof.”

If I may, I’d like to end with a poem:

I’m sorry to say,
“the idiots are here to stay.”
So if you want to have a good day,
you’d better find an alternative to making them play your way.

At least that’s the way I see it.

Cheers,

T.K. Coleman

This Post Has 6 Comments
  1. Oh T.K Once again you hit me straight in the middle of my current, precise thought life! You have yet to miss a beat! God Bless you! Yet how oh how can I achieve this idea of getting inside my own head before they do?
    I have a biological family full of people intent on leaving hideous, emotional, internal bruising, and after a lifetime I am well and truly ready to drop out of circulation with them. Is the decision to cease spending time with people who I don’t trust, who don’t accept me and who continue to walk out each interaction with bitterness, anger, blame, guilt, manipulation and jealousy. This has me filled with more questions than answers. I would love to hear your perspective on this matter. Blessings to you Dear TK.

    1. Sometimes, in order to get inside our own heads, we have have to put space between ourselves and the environments/relationships that make it difficult for us to hear our inner voice. If you have the power to step away for a bit or to create some kind of physical boundary between you and those people, then I would encourage it. It’s better to be physically absent and healthy than to be present, unhealthy, and bitter. Besides, who knows what becomes possible once you can achieve enough distance or solitude to get some clarity. I’ve been able to reconcile a number of unhealthy relationships simply by taking breaks that were long enough for me to heal and come back with a level head. There’s no excuse for abuse even it’s not physical. Do whatever you can to get out from under the influence of that energy. It’s not only the best thing you can do for you. It’s also the best them you can do for them too. Does that help? Would you like to discuss further? Your call? Blessings to you too, my friend 🙂 Cheers!

      1. Thank you so much for your reply, Your input is greatly appreciated. I have spent the last 11 years tenaciously getting inside my own head, and avoiding time with these people. It has benefited me to know end. So Yes, your advice does help greatly. Even if only to confirm that the tough decisions I have made in the past were the reason for the level of peace I currently have with myself. Unfortunately the distance I have kept has had minimal effect on them, from what I have witnessed. Unavoidable family interactions, though very sparse, cause me more emotional trauma than I am willing to put myself in the path of, which is what happened yesterday when I posted that comment. Perhaps a few years distance is not long enough to heal a lifetime of lies and exposure to bitterness. If it was just me who receives the attack it would be easier, as I no longer feel I need to defend myself. However, it is when my late father is the subject of criticism and he is not here to defend himself that effects me. It seems no matter how much I keep to myself, or how clear I have made myself to them, that a lifetime of hearing his name slandered is more than enough and we should let the dead rest! They still continue to justify their opposition to him and his life and I have had more than enough. Be assured, I survived, only more certain that I should no longer have to tolerate this issue. And for now they are gone, far away for another stint in time. Yet they are family, and time flies, before I know it they will need to call or drop in again and I wish I knew how to protect myself while in their presence. Thank you for your precious time. It means a great deal to me. Cheers.

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