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Does everyone else have it easier than you?

“Pain is your personal link in the chain that connects us all to the privilege, pleasures, and possibilities of being human.” -T.K. Coleman, Tough-Minded Optimism

Believing that your life is harder than everyone else’s is a practice that is typically discouraged on the grounds that it is immature, obnoxious, or insensitive to the sufferings of others.

I’d like to provide you with a less guilt-driven reason for avoiding this practice. I would like to appeal to your self-interest.

Let’s forget about my ideas or anyone else’s ideas about what it means to be the “right” kind of person and let’s talk about how YOU can get what YOU want out of life.

The ethics of belief aside, if you are wedded to the idea that the world is filled with a bunch of people who have it easier than you, then you are doing yourself a disservice by making it more unlikely that you’ll ever successfully create what you want.

Concepts are capital and intelligence (not merely the academic kind) is the currency by which all desired states are procured.

No matter who you are, you’re not going anywhere without having access to the ideas and insights that will help you slice through the resistance you’ll have to face along the way.

Our greatest resource is our ability to learn from the failures, successes, and sufferings of others.

Too firm of a belief in the uniqueness of your difficulties makes it psychologically impossible to see another human being as having something significant to teach you.

The perception of your life as an unprecedented misfortune transforms your psychic energy into an impenetrable wall disallowing and disparaging, from every angle, the positive influence of those thought-rays cast by wise souls who have come before us.

If you believe your life is harder than everyone else’s, I don’t think you’re immature, obnoxious, or insensitive, but I do think you’re selling yourself short.

Ponder carefully the wise words of James Baldwin:

“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive.” -James Baldwin

This Post Has 11 Comments
  1. So very true! I was truly blessed to have learned this lesson as a therapist, although I wish I had learned it as a child. It is such an important lesson that allows us the opportunity to understand and have compassion for our fellow humans, no matter how different we may be.

    Thank you for sharing!
    Stacy

    1. Thanks for appreciating, Stacy. I’m eager to hear more from you as I think your experiences as a therapist give you such a wonderful insight into a vast array of human experiences. Looking forward to learning more from your wisdom. Cheers. -T.K.

  2. Hey T.K., very thought-provoking post. gave me pause to wonder, do I think this, that my pain is unique and that others have it easier than me? I’m not sure, but you have given something very valuable to look at because I sure don’t want to be selling myself short! Thanks! Hope you’re having a great weekend. Cheers! 🙂

    1. Heya Audrey! Your pain is unique, only you know what you’re feeling and only you would know how to deal with your pain, but whether it’s worse than that of the rest of the world is the deal. Sure, some people can have it easier, but a lot of people do have it hard, and if not harder than you. If you think that your pain is what everyone should feel than I’m sure some people in the world would love to feel your pain compared to their own. I, on the other hand wouldn’t trade my pain for any other person’s, because our pain is unique, and only we know how to deal with it.
      Regards!
      Emmy

      1. Hey Emmy, Thank you! You help me clarify this with myself. I get it now and realize, no, thankfully, I do not think others should feel my pain. My pain is mine to deal with struggle with learn from grow from and heal. Thanks so much!! all the best to you!

    2. Hi Audrey,

      Well, if I’ve written something that has stimulated you to either think in a different direction or think further in a familiar direction, that is a gift unto itself. My weekend was great. My wife and I spent a lot of time watching fun movies and hanging out. It was a real treat. I hope you had a great time as well. Cheers 🙂

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