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Self-control verses emotional suppression

Repressing so-called negative emotions is no less dangerous than expressing them in destructive ways.

Self-control is not synonymous with ‘holding it in.’

Self-control is the art of being an observer and a participant, rather than an unconscious reactor, in the arena of processing and expressing our various moods.

Every feeling is a potential teacher, friend, and ally.

The healthy response to a ‘bad’ feeling is not pushing it away or pretending that it’s unreal.

The healthy response is to be present with our emotions, whatever they may be, with an attitude of non-judgmental self-love.

From that state of awareness, we can discern how to embrace all emotion as forms of creative energy that can be embodied in ways that do more good than harm.

At least that’s the way i see it.


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  1. Embrace it and use it. Two very powerful actions if you know how.

    I recently decided to not act on my anger towards my ex (texts, emails). To wait for the initial emotion to pass and then see where I am emotionally. Well, I noticed I’ve gained 10 lbs and suddenly have the urge to buy and inhale as many Cinnamon rolls as possible. Are the two related? Probably. So, I guess just sitting with the emotion isn’t enough for me. Anyone have examples of ways to use the anger creatively?

    1. Instead of waiting for the emotion to pass, try using the emotion to help lose the weight you gained. Use the anger in a form of a motivation to work out. Weight gain can be an effect from the anger depending on how long you’ve been mad at your ex. Deciding to not act on your anger was probably a good idea, but in the form of you not using it caused something that you probably didn’t want.

  2. Another good use for anger! Using it as a form of positive motivation. Excellent. I like that.

    Participant, rather than observer.

    Thanks, all.



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