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The Blame Game has no winners

Here’s a revolutionary concept: frustration and disappointment are capable of being experienced without the accompaniment of blame.

That is, one can feel angry, hurt, afraid, alone, and discouraged without needing to identify a culprit who deserves to be punished or scorned.

That still doesn’t add up to a happy day, but it can make the path to well-being a lot less obstructed.

Most problems, although not all, can be effectively treated simply by boiling everything down to a few very simple questions:

What do I need?

Within what context I am most confident in my ability to create what I need?

What action steps can I take to maximize my opportunities?

What will it cost me?

What am I willing and unwilling to sacrifice or compromise in order to have what I need?

Playing the blame game can be very gratifying to the ego, but more often than not it distracts our attention away from the issues that truly matter.

Resenting others for their failures isn’t unethical, but it’s very unlikely to give us what we want.

Although it may feel counter-instinctive (especially when life doesn’t seem to be working for us), releasing our need to condemn others creates room for clarity and creativity.

At least that’s the way I see it (as I look around for someone to blame for a few crazy things I have going on right now).


T.K. Coleman


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  1. I absolutely agree. It’s tough to take the hit without falling on the false power of blame and judgment, but they really don’t change the circumstances (or the culprits), except, as you point out, to maybe slow the process. I love those questions! Blessings. Diane

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