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Why I’m not a good guy

Nothing has made me a better man than relinquishing my need to be seen as such.

One of the most liberating lessons I’ve learned is that being “the good guy” is not nearly as important as being the guy who’s aligned with his own priorities and principles.

When people crown you with the status of “good guy”, be careful; It’s a fleeting prize they can threaten to take away if you “step out of line” by doing something that displeases them.

The fear of losing “good guy” status can easily become the basis for allowing yourself to be manipulated and victimized by those who want to limit your options to what feels nice to them.

It’s better to live a good life and be thought a bad guy, than to be a “good guy” who lives a lie.

As Alice Walker wrote: “Be nobody’s darling!”


T.K. Coleman

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