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The wisdom of making love


“Don’t explain your philosophy. Embody it.” -Epictetus

The touch of a lover’s hand is more than a thousand insights.

The taste of a passion-filled kiss is more illuminating than a lifetime of contemplation.

Of all the knowledge to be gained, none is greater than that which is attained in a single hour of making love.

Audre Lorde wrote: “Our erotic knowledge empowers us, becomes a lens through which we scrutinize all aspects of our existence, forcing us to evaluate those aspects honestly in terms of their relative meaning within our lives.”

To romanticize is to philosophize.

To embrace the sensual is to make sense of the usual.

If philosophy is the love of wisdom, then the denial of love-making is the height of foolishness.

This Post Has 6 Comments
      1. It’s true life is tough. But making love with a partner requires a partner. It’s more than tough without a partner, it’s impossible.

        One might explore one’s own physical being alone. Being erotic and sexual and sensual may all be done “alone.” We may love ourselves. We may satisfy ourselves sexually without a partner, but “The taste of a passion-filled kiss” requires another being….

        1. “It’s true life is tough. But making love with a partner requires a partner. It’s more than tough without a partner, it’s impossible.”

          Just so we are clear, the word “tough” was introduced to our discussion by you. When I said “life is tough”, I was simply mirroring the language you chose to use in expressing your own views about the unique difficulty experienced by those who do not have partners with whom they can make love. I am aware that it is impossible for someone to make love with a partner if they don’t have a partner. I have never held any beliefs nor made any statements to the contrary.

          Just so we are even more clear, you and I are not having a debate or disagreement about the impossibility of making love to a partner without a partner. There is nothing in my blog post or in my comments to you indicating a belief, on my part, that it is possible for people to make love without a partner. A celebration of the beauty and wisdom of erotic love is not tantamount to the act of disregarding or disparaging those who are unable, for any reason, to participate in the experience of such love. I would like to think that the love songs of Nat King Cole and Ella Fitzgerald still retain their value in spite of the fact that there will always be people who never get to experience the kind of romantic bliss they sang of.

          Moreover, even though you have made the semantic shift from “tough” to “impossible”, what would be the relevance of pointing out the fact that some people don’t have partners if not to emphasize the unique form of difficulty, lack, or hardship experienced by such people? In other words, your original comment, “Ah yes. Tough without a partner though…” is simply a way of saying “that may be nice, T.K., but there are some people who don’t get to experience that.”
          And to that, my response remains the same: Life is tough for everyone in their own unique way. Name anything that you believe is beautiful in this world and I can easily provide you with examples of real people who don’t get to experience that particular form of beauty because of something unique about their life condition. Name anything that you think makes life worth leaving, and I can name people who didn’t get to experience the luxury of having that element in their life.

          Some people don’t get to experience the joy of fulfilling their dreams. Yet, I will always celebrate the beauty of dreams.
          Some people do not have the ability to read. Yet, I will always celebrate the power of literacy and the value of the written word.
          Some people are unable to have or adopt children. Yet, I will always celebrate the beauty of good parenting.
          Some people will never hear music. And even though people like Evelyn Glennie give me hope, she is a rare example. Yet, I will continue to celebrate the beauty of music.
          And among many other things, some people will never know the joy of making love. Yet, I will continue to celebrate the beauty and wisdom of making love.

          I hope you can allow people like me to celebrate life’s many treasures without assuming (or implying) that I lack awareness or sympathy for those who can’t experience such treasures. Not only am I aware of those people…not only am I sympathetic of those people….but I actually AM one of those people in my own unique way. We all are.

          1. It feels to me like you are misreading the intent and tone of my comments and/or I’m getting under your skin for some reason and/or I’m misreading your replies. I have no wish to create negative energy, and thus will keep my thoughts to myself in future.

            1. You are not getting under my skin. And even if you were, that would be an experience that I, alone, would be responsible for creating. Nobody is forcing me to dialogue with you. All of my responses to you have been of my own accord. So, I am not a victim here nor do I have any regrets about our interactions. If it were my wish to impose rules upon your freedom to comment here, I would have done the easy thing and blocked/deleted your comments. Yet, I have chosen to dialogue with you because I received more pleasure from it than anything else.

              Whether or not we are misreading each other’s tones, I am not sure. All I have gathered from your tone at this point is that you are a passionate, direct, and confident communicator who is neither afraid to challenge others nor afraid to be honest and straightforward. I consider all of those qualities to be virtues. I am under the impression that, in a world where many people dismiss arguments and provocative discussions as unenlightened activities, you are someone who is willing to engage in healthy debate. That’s all I have at this point. But in fairness to both you and I, we don’t know each other and all of our interaction has been in text format. Some misunderstandings are bound to ensue, but I am okay with that. I do not equate misunderstandings and difficult discussions with negative energy.

              Nevertheless, I encourage, respect, and celebrate your freedom however you choose to use it. There are many things under the sun that are far more important than conversing online with T.K. Coleman. Should you decide to keep your thoughts to yourself in the future, I wish you all the best with no hard feelings attached. Should you decide to continue commenting, you are always free to do so. I have never established or enforced any rules on how people are allowed to comment. My interactions with you have not altered that fact.

              So, I’ll let your inner guidance lead you in whatever direction you need to go in as far as future commenting is concerned. And as far as your past comments are concerned, thanks for the stimulating discussions.



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