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Ask Yourself “Why?” Before Asking Them “What?”

Beware the practice of asking people for their advice about X if you’ve already made up your mind to do X regardless of what they say. If you know what you’re going to do, then just do it. If you want support, ask for it. Never pretend, however, to be looking for an honest objective opinion if all you really want is a word of positive encouragement.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting a little validation, but when you disguise your sincere need for affirmation as something other than what it actually is, you create unnecessary confusion and you risk undermining your credibility in the process.

Before you ask for another’s opinion, make sure you’re aware of your own intentions. You don’t have to be as careful about what you ask when you’re clear about why you’re asking.

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