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Never Beg Anyone To Join Your Tribe

If you want to be fascinating, you have to be fascinated. If you want to be engaging, you have to be engaged. You have to find something that genuinely fires you up and you have to give your heart to it.

It’s impossible to dedicate your time, energy, and attention to something that makes you come alive without the energy of your aliveness becoming infectious. When you follow your heart, you become a source of inspiration for the people whose hearts beat to the same drum.

But here’s the tricky part: There’s no secret formula for making specific individuals or groups interested in who you are and what you do. As fired up as you may be, you may never become interesting to some of the people you most want to impress.

There are certain audiences you will never win.

There are certain hearts you will never capture.

There are certain minds you will never stimulate.

The worst thing you can do when you encounter this reality is to try becoming something you’re not in an effort to make some specific person or group turned on by you. Make that mistake and you’ll lose all the elements of individuality that make you so intoxicating and invigorating to be around in the first place. Instead of being the inimitable genius that you already are, you’ll quickly become a two-bit second-rate hackneyed version of someone else’s genius.

This is what it really means when people say “just be yourself.” It means you shouldn’t hold yourself back from laughing at things you think are funny just because you’re in the room with someone who might not get the joke. It means you shouldn’t hold yourself back from expressing your distaste for something just because there’s someone in the room who might consider you a prude. It means you shouldn’t suppress the excitement you feel over something just because there’s someone in the room who doesn’t think you have the right to be excited. It means you shouldn’t pretend to like a bunch of things that you really don’t care about just because some people will think you’re weird, or goofy, or boring, or whatever.

Everyone has their remnant. Everyone has their crew, their people, their family beyond family whose love, respect, and appreciation scream “you are welcome here.”

Mike Murdock wrote “Go where you’re celebrated, not where you’re tolerated.”

If you want to be interesting, you don’t have to beg anyone to love you or befriend you or adore you or “get” you. You don’t have to stand on your head, do a tap dance routine, or adjust your posture in a certain sort of way in order to get what’s truly yours. If you have to make sure you take all your photos from the best possible angle just to be seen in the best possible light, you’re trying to please the wrong people.

If someone isn’t interested in what you’re interested in, let them walk. If someone fails to find you and your interests worth engaging, bid them Godspeed. You have your tribe and they have theirs. There’s no need to twist anyone’s arm as if your happiness and success depends on every single person resonating with what you’re all about. Forget the crowd and stop putting specific people on a pedestal. Strive to become the best possible version of yourself and you will have the attention of all whose attention is worth having.

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