I’m not motivated by how awesome things are. I’m motivated by how bad things are.
My optimism is rooted in defiance. I insist on giving the middle finger to all the shittiest aspects of life and saying “you can bake me, but you can’t break me” while being tossed into the fiery furnace of trial and tribulation.
Yes, I derive my energy from that which seeks to saps my energy.
Whenever I’m in the midst of suffering, I imagine a demon standing before me, waiting to feed on the deliciousness of my anguish. But just as he prepares to take his first bite, I smile and say”not so fast, my fiend. I’m enjoying this. Stay awhile. Watch me smile. Starve awhile.”