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A Thing About Advice

Advice is not a prescription for your future. It’s a description of someone else’s past.

Your job is to evaluate or experiment with that description at a level that you can handle in order to see if it contains anything that might be useful to you.

To make a god out of that which is useful or a devil out of that which is useless is to miss the point of advice altogether.

The Difference That Makes The Difference

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There’s a big difference between fighting for your dreams and fighting with others about your right to fight for your dreams.

The former is intoxicating. The latter is just toxic.

Nothing will deter you from progress quite like the need to prove to others that you deserve to seek progress.

Every second that you spend justifying yourself is a second that could be spent bettering yourself.

You can make a much greater impact by hitting the gym or hitting the books than you can by hammering the doubters and naysayers in your life with long-winded arguments.

Losing an opportunity to develop your potential is a lot more costly than losing an opportunity to debate your point.

Instead of trying to force people into respecting your journey, invest that time and energy into mastering your craft.

No one ever said that living a purposeful life would be the same thing as making sense to everyone you know.

If It Works for the Opt-ins, It Works for the Opt-outs

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People be like:

1. Be true to yourself.*

2. If you’re happy with what you do and you’re fine with the amount of money you make, don’t waste time comparing yourself to people who have fancier titles and a higher income than you.**

*Make sure your “self” is someone who goes to college.

**If you don’t have a degree, then you should be comparing your earnings with people of a similar age who do have degrees. If you make more than them, that means you’re lucky. If you make less than them, that means you probably should have gone to college.

Don’t be like those people.

If you’re going to be an advocate of philosophies like “be true yourself” and “don’t compare yourself to others” and “as long as you’re happy with your life, don’t have any regrets,” just make sure you don’t arbitrarily move the goal post when you run into someone who meets all those conditions without being a participant in tradition schooling.

The Danger of Discipline without Direction

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There is no intrinsic value to finishing what you started.

“But…but…you didn’t finish” is not an argument that you actually *should* finish.

If you’re in the middle of doing something that’s inconsistent with your preferences and principles, then you shouldn’t hold yourself hostage to your current trajectory just because you’re afraid of being called a “quitter.”

Some of our best moments as a species are when we convince one another to *not* finish something we started precisely because it’s unhealthy or unhelpful.

The value of finishing a task is relative to what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. If finishing a task makes you a better human being and you genuinely believe that it’s the right choice for you, then you should finish what you started even it’s uncomfortable. If sticking with a task robs you of your time, your money, your health, your joy, or anything else that really matters to you, however, then it’s self-defeating to keep going merely for the sake of proving to others that you’re a disciplined person.

To persist in a task that is no longer fruitful nor fulfilling in the name of “being a finisher” is to make yourself a victim of the sunk cost fallacy.

Stopping what you started can sometimes be a greater expression of discipline than finishing what you started.

When you find yourself dragging your feet down a path that isn’t serving your highest priorities, it takes a lot of strength to rethink your assumptions and redirect your actions.

The question to ask is not “Am I willing to finish what I started?” The question to ask is “Am I willing to be faithful to my ever-evolving understanding of what matters most to me? And sometimes that means finishing. And sometimes that means letting go of the things that are no longer worthy of you.

I place quitting and finishing on equal epistemic ground. If rational justification is required for quitting, then it’s also required for finishing.

“Finish what you started” is not some sort of axiom that should be greeted with less scrutiny than “Quit if you don’t want to finish.”

Both can be wrong. Both require critical thinking.

“Does that mean I should stop eating healthy merely because I don’t feel like it anymore?”

Of course not. You don’t need to be a flake in order to be honest with yourself and others about the things aren’t working for you.┬áDon’t confuse pushing yourself out of your comfort zone with forcing yourself to deny your values.

Determination and discipline are good, but nothing is more dangerous than determination and discipline without discernment and direction.

“Be True to Yourself…As Long as You Go to College”

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When college opt-outs say things like “I don’t want to go to college. Instead, I’m going to try starting a business or I’m going to pursue this creative venture I love”, everyone loves to whip out income statistics about having a degree. We get so worried about how much money people are going to make when they decide that school isn’t right for them. That’s cool. I think it’s a good exercise to worry about how much money people are going to make. So let’s go with that logic for a minute.

Here’s my question for the people who love to bring up money: should we also whip out those same income statistics when people go to college to major in things like music, drama, art, education, social work, theology, ministry, philosophy, and family studies? Shouldn’t we be encouraging these people to become anesthesiologists and nuclear engineers? At least they should go into something like accounting, right? If I remember correctly, don’t we love to complain about how underpaid school teachers are? Shouldn’t we be challenging those people and telling them to major in computer science or engineering instead? By the way, did you know that some of the worst paying majors are the ones that involve feeding people and caring for them?

It’s funny how we actually praise people for blatantly rejecting the opportunity to maximize their income potential simply because they want to “make a difference” or “follow their heart” or “work in a field that seems like the right fit for their personality.”

I know, I know. We should support people who major in those things because those subjects are meaningful and important. Yes, we should support them even if they knowingly leave a lot of money on the table to pursue those fields. I get it now. So it’s not really about the income statistics. It’s about doing work that’s meaningful, important, and authentic…as long as you go to college.

Dogma is a funny thing.

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