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“Being truthful” versus “telling the truth”

There is a difference between “being truthful” and “telling the truth.”

“Being truthful” means we are honestly expressing how we perceive or feel about something.

“Telling the truth” means we are accurately defining or describing the way things REALLY are.

I regard this to be an important distinction for many reasons, but here’s today’s two cents:

The people in your life may have the right to be truthful with you, but no one has the right to tell you THE truth about who you are.

Only YOU can define YOU.

You can still learn a lot from understanding how others see you, but don’t mistake their perception for your reality.

So, if anyone ever says to you “Let me tell you the truth about yourself”, feel free to say “you are more than welcome to be truthful about how you perceive me, but I do not share the power to define myself with others.”

Cheers,

T.K. Coleman

Make the decision right

There’s a difference between “making the right decision” and “making the decision right.”

“Making the right decision” is when you choose to behave agreeably with your value system. It essentially means that you did what you believed was the right thing to do.

“Making the decision right” is when you choose to optimize the value of your decisions by making the most of any of its possible or actual benefits.

In life, we will make all sorts of decisions that may later seem questionable once we evaluate them with the wisdom of hindsight.

What seemed like the right choice a few hours, days, months or years ago, may appear rash or irrational when measured against the knowledge we now have.

Here’s my two cents:

Happiness and success is less about making the right decisions and more about making the decisions right.

When you spend time regretting and resenting the choices you’ve made, you are working against your ability to leverage the consequences of those choices in ways that are advantageous to your future.

It doesn’t matter if you failed to make the right decision, because the only things you can affect right now are the decisions that are in front of you.

You can give up and live the rest of your life feeling guilty, embarrassed, and defeated

OR

You can take responsibility for the choices you’ve made. And although you are not pleased with some of the consequences of those choices, you can choose to use them as building blocks for constructing a future you feel proud of. Rather than dwelling on ideas of what you could’ve, should’ve, or would’ve done, you can choose to entertain thoughts that are harmonious with a positive and redemptive outcome.

Decisions, while we tend to view them as isolated events, are part of a much larger process that I like to refer to as “BECAUSE I AM NOT DEAD, I AM STILL CREATING MY LIFE!”

While the past may be unchangeable, the meaning of your past decisions is NOT FINAL because your current decisions are STILL creating the context that will ultimately determine the true value of all your prior choices.

Yesterdays apparent mistake might be today’s ingredient for tomorrow’s success story.

But that all depends on whether or not you are ready and willing to make your decisions right.

Are you?

Let them ask

Has anyone ever asked you a stupid, silly, or insensitive question?

Let me rephrase that:

Has anyone ever asked you a question that SEEMED stupid, silly, or insensitive?

What did you do?

Did you answer them, get angry, ignore them?

Here is something I’ve learned as a result of being asked all sorts of questions:

If someone asks a question, no matter how absurd or inappropriate it may appear to YOU, it’s probably because their question makes sense to THEM.

It’s highly unlikely that you are so important to them that they asked you a question with the intention of annoying or alienating you.

So, don’t ruin your day over it.

Getting angry at people for asking questions you would never ask is a waste of precious emotional energy that you will definitely need in the future for far more important things.

Let THEM ask the questions that resonate with THEM and let YOUR happiness center around the thoughts that resonate with YOU.

That’s my two cents.

Any questions?

Let THEM say “no”

If you want something, ask for it.

It’s other people’s job to tell you what they are and are not willing to do.

It’s not your job to say “no” for them.

It’s your job to take responsibility for creating what you want and sometimes that process requires you to honestly make your needs known to others.

Someone somewhere is talking themselves out of an opportunity right now because they don’t want to trouble anyone with their seemingly small questions and supposedly minor concerns.

Elsewhere, a person in a similar situation is acquiring valuable resources, insights, and advantages simply because they chose to step up and ask.

Asking for what you truly want doesn’t work every single time, but suppressing authentic expression of your desires will always place you on the losing side.

It’s better to ask and be told “no” every once in awhile than it is to just count yourself out by assuming no one wants to be bothered by your “petty” concerns.

Don’t be afraid of rejection. If someone doesn’t want to respond agreeablely to your request, that’s THEIR issue.

And don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about being an asker either. There’s absolutely nothing about seeking assistance that contradicts your standing as a responsible self-reliant individual.

Mastering the art of intelligently and respectfully soliciting the cooperation of others, is an essential staple in every creator’s toolbox.

There isn’t a happy or successful individual on the planet who would testify to the contrary.

That’s my two cents for the day.

What are your thoughts?

You’re bigger than your big ideas

We all have big ideas.

Fantasies about who we’ll marry, what we’ll achieve, how others will treat us, etc.

But sometimes those ideas don’t seem to match up with what we actually manifest.

What do you do when the person you like doesn’t like you back or the life you love doesn’t seem to love you?

Here’s my two cents:

Step back from the situation, breathe deeply, dig deeper, and recognize that you are bigger than your big ideas.

Remember the story of the goose that laid the golden eggs?

Your ideas are golden eggs, but you’re the goose that lays them.

Your greatest fortune is the inexhaustible treasure-house within you.

Your thoughts and specific expectations, even the ones that are totally amazing, are just PARTIAL expressions of your Broader Self.

The power to create the life of your dreams does not lie in your mental blueprint or your vision board. It lies in the creative energy of spirit which always knows the BEST way to bring your heart’s desires into manifestation.

An elderly man once said to me: “If I asked you to write down your idea of the good life on a sheet of paper and in five years I showed you what you wrote, you would laugh.”

We would all be a little better off if we could learn to have a sense of humor about our specific expectations.

The movie that’s going on inside of your head may not play out in the exact way you expect, but the inner alignment that comes from knowing “all is well” can never fail you.

Don’t trust in your ever evolving vision of the future. Trust in your eternally expanding consciousness of well-being.

If that sounds discouraging or depressing, then please remember:

If you are truly bigger than your big ideas, then your future is probably bigger than anything you’re currently imagining.

At least that’s the way I see it.

Cheers,

T.K. Coleman

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