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Step into the light

I hope the world sees you for who you really are. For nothing in the entire universe is quite as beautiful.

I pray that the truth of your being is finally exposed. For it is no longer appropriate for your brilliance to remain a secret.

Jesus said: “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.”

I invoke the possibilities within you.

Come forth.

Be seen.

Be heard.

Shine.

It is your destiny.

It is your nature.

Embrace the call.

Optimism and the absence of evidence

Carl Sagan wrote: the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.

That is, our inability to perceive or discover a thing must never be taken as proof that it doesn’t exist.

It’s always possible that the thing we’re looking for is beyond our current ability to imagine, understand, or detect. Furthermore, the failure to find what we’re looking for can also be an indicator that we haven’t searched for a long enough time or that we’re looking in the wrong places.

Sagan made his statement within the context of scientific inquiry. Today, I’d like to give it a philosophical and psychological application as well:

The inability to see goodness, beauty, or value in the people or events that surround us does not prove that goodness, beauty, and value are absent.

If you can’t see any evidence in your life for being positive, that’s okay. As long as you don’t equate the absence of evidence with the evidence of absence, you’ll always have a chance at discovering something interesting.

Whatever you do, don’t close your mind to the possibility of other possibilities.

Where optimism fails, an open mind succeeds.

At least that’s the way I see it.

Cheers,

T.K. Coleman

Two Kinds of Peace

There are two kinds of peace.

The first kind of peace stems from the absence of contrast. It’s the kind of peace we feel when we’re not being challenged.

The second kind of peace arises from self-knowledge. It’s rooted in the confidence we have in our own ability to adapt, evolve, and create regardless of the external environment.

The surest route to a life of anxiety is found by chasing after the first kind of peace.

Problems are real, but the space of possibility that surrounds our problems is equally real and infinitely larger.

Instead of begging the problems to go away, beckon the possibilities to come forward.

Assertive is the new nice

It’s easy to assume that being assertive will transform you into a jerk.

In actuality, it’s the other way around.

Being pretentiously nice (ie. refusing to be assertive out of a fear-based need to avoid conflict) is more likely to transform you into a jerk.

When you fail to speak up for yourself, resentment builds until you eventually blow up on the people around you in ways that are far more dramatic than if you had been honest from the beginning.

The paradox of avoiding conflict is that the people who AVOID it the most end up CREATING it the most.

Assertive people are able to be generous and kind because, by being truthful, their needs are already taken care of and they’re able to give without bitterness and resistance.

Here’s today’s two cents:

Take care of yourself!

Say “yes” to everything you sincerely want to do and offer a respectful unapologetic “no” to everything that’s not aligned with your values, priorities, and important goals.

Say what you mean and leave everything else out of your conversation.

If you’re afraid of being a jerk, remember the following: being assertive isn’t as half as ‘jerky’ as being dishonestly accommodating and then acting like a martyr for how holy and self-sacrificing you’ve been.

At least that’s the way I see it.

Cheers,

T.K. Coleman

You have rights even when you’re not right

You don’t need to BE RIGHT in order to HAVE THE RIGHT to dislike what you don’t like.

Sometimes, it’s not about WHO IS RIGHT; it’s about who HAS THE RIGHT to live your life.

You can’t argue yourself into another person’s body nor can anyone else argue their way into yours.

You have one life to live and it’s YOURS. Therefore, you have right to define its meaning, EVEN IF others see your definition as wrong.

At least that’s the way I see it.

Cheers,

T.K. Coleman

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