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The Whole of Me

I am not an entity in the abstract. My existence is made manifest in a specific¬†form. I have shape. I have size. I have color. I have gender. I have sexuality. Wherever I am present, these attributes are present with me. I cannot ignore them. I do not wish to ignore them. I will not deny the particularity of my self-hood by making a virtue out of being appearance-blind, color-blind, gender-blind, or any other kind of blind. My aim in this life is to be conscious, to be as fully aware as possible of the details that comprise my being. The God who is said to be in the details shall not be denied the opportunity to proclaim His presence through the intricacies of my physical form. I am no brain in a vat. I am a body upon the earth. As such, I will not allow the tangible, visible, sensual, corporeal parts of me to be bypassed or undermined in the name of engaging my “essentials.” Nothing that I am is inessential. As long as I live, the whole of me shall be affirmed.

How to get a self

Step one: Embrace the truth and accept yourself.

Required tools: Honesty, boldness, and inner strength.

Step two: Defy the truth and destroy yourself.

Required tools: Audacity, recklessness, a sense of adventure, and the willingness to be odd.

Step three: Create the truth and reinvent yourself.

Required tools: Imagination, creativity, and the courage to cease asking for permission.

I am a game of make-believe

“There is a life behind the personality that uses personalities as masks. There are times when life puts off the mask and deep answers unto deep.” -Dion Fortune

I create a story about the past and I title it “history”.

I attach my self to “history” and I call that “personal identity”.

Then I play a game:

I pretend that there is a world separate from me in which my “personal identity” is just one of many characters.

I call this game “life”.

Sometimes it’s fun. Sometimes it’s painful.

Either way, I don’t get too worked up about it.

It’s just a game that I made up.

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