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“Prove to me my thoughts create my reality!”

Note: There were some technical problems with the WordPress server this weekend and some subscribers reported having not received post updates in their email. So if you missed yesterday’s post, “Good girls, bad guys, and the law of attraction“, be sure to check it out. I’ve also made significant revisions to Law of Attraction or “Opposites Attract?” if you’re interested.
 
I’ve been on a “law of attraction” kick for the last couple of days so I thought I’d share my two cents on a question that gets raised quite frequently by those who are considering the possibility that by changing their thoughts they can change their lives. I hope you enjoy. Cheers 🙂 -T.K.
 

The million dollar question:

 
“How can I know my thoughts create my own reality?”

Questioning the questions

A freshman philosophy student decided to stump his Professor one day;

 “Hey Teacher, prove to me that I exist!”

The teacher didn’t miss a beat. He shot right back;

“I would love to, but whom shall I say is asking the question?”

Sometimes we can arrive at the best answers simply by questioning the questions.

In a similar way, it might be helpful to challenge yourself to provide an example of how a person’s thoughts DO NOT create their reality. 

BUT BEFORE YOU DO THAT….

Reality versus Experience

I would start by making the distinction between “Reality” and “Experience.”

“Reality” refers to the world. It refers to what is actually happening independently of anyone’s perceptions, beliefs, feelings, etc.

“Experience” refers to the way in which a particular individual perceives, processes, and reacts to “Reality.”

When proponents of the Law of Attraction say “you create your own reality”, they are not saying you can uproot a tree from the ground just by visualizing it for a few minutes using Harry Potter styled magic mind power. They are referring to the control you have over your own personal experience of Reality. 

Although there may seem to be a single Reality we all occupy, we each experience this Reality differently because every person has a unique way of perceiving, processing, and reacting to the world.
 

A lesson from dogs about perception and reality

Here’s a simple example:

Scientists tell us the spectrum of sound extends indefinitely in both directions. This means there are sounds we can’t detect because they lie outside the range of human hearing.

Dog whistles prove this. A room can be very noisy to a dog while seeming silent to a man. This clearly illustrates how we do not experience reality as it “actually” is. We experience reality only in accordance with how our perceptual filters have processed it.

Is the room REALLY quiet or is it REALLY noisy? Well, which one IS it? It all depends on who you ask. Are you asking the dog? Or the man? When a man says “it’s quiet in here”, he’s not describing the room. He’s describing the way in which he’s experiencing the room. This is true of all things.

We often speak of how things are, but we’re really just telling a story about how we are experiencing things. This is what the philosophers were getting at when they asked “Is the glass half empty or half full?” Well, it depends. As Bill Cosby quipped “Are you drinking or pouring?”

Life is exactly as you think it is

Our beliefs, expectations, moods, assumptions, etc., act as perceptual filters that literally color and shape our world into a unique personal experience.

When you’re in a good mood and everything has been going your way, you may not mind when someone steps on your toe. They apologize and you say “it’s all good!” But when everything seems to be going wrong, someone stepping on your toe might honestly seem as if the universe is conspiring against you. You might stub your toe and say “I can’t BUY a break!” Now if you’re in a REALLY good mood, you might be happy with the opportunity to say “hello” to the guy who stepped on your toe which might lead to making a new friend. One event, three experiences.

The difference between an opportunity, an incident, and a conspiracy can all come down to how you process reality with your thoughts. The same guy can be a “loser”, a “saint”, a “lunatic”, or “the funniest cat ever” to 4 different people.

So…back to the challenge. Try to observe  some facet of reality from a purely neutral perspective. Describe anything in a way that is not influenced by your own personal vantage point. This simple little exercise may help illuminate a very basic idea;

You can’t observe the world without observing it from your perspective.

Even when you ask others what their take is, you are filtering their descriptions through your perspective. So it always comes back to you.

Your thoughts create your experience because you can’t have an experience, by definition, until you take Reality and mix it up with your thoughts.

At least that’s how I see it over here in my reality 🙂

What do you think?

T.K. Coleman

Update: A friend of mine just informed me that I should not limit the capacity of our human potential by implying that we can NOT uproot trees. I stand corrected. Folks, if you put your mind to it, you can even uproot the tree 🙂

Good girls, bad guys, and the law of attraction

In my last post, I addressed a question about how the scientific notion of “opposites attract” relates to the popular idea known as “the law of attraction.” That post is a background for this one. To read, please click here. In a recent discussion with a friend and fellow blogger, Chaz (click here for his inspiring blog), I was prompted to think about the age-old phenomenon of the “good girl” who goes for the “bad guy” and how that relates, if at all, to the idea that “like attracts like”.  What follows is my explorative effort to reconcile the two. Let’s dive in and see what happens, shall we? Cheers 🙂 -TK

The “good girl” and the “bad boy”

Let’s say there’s a quiet, shy, and reserved lady who’s regarded by everyone she knows as a morally conservative “good girl.”  She’s never drank before; never uttered a swear word; never angered anyone; never rebelled against authority. She’s always been a good student, friend, and employee because she’s never failed to do the “right things”.

However, she has a budding taste for a more adventurous life. She’s not necessarily bored, but she does long to venture out beyond the confines of her known world. She would love to have someone in her life who challenges her to step outside of her comfort zones, take risks, and explore new possibilities.

Along comes the town “bad boy.” He breaks all the rules, takes hogwash from no one, rides a motorcycle, and rebels against authority as a profession. He arrogantly thinks he’s above the law, walks with a champion’s swagger, and feels quite sure of himself.

Although a part of our “good girl” wants the kind of man from the romantic comedies, she still finds herself drawn to this “bad boy” none of her friends ever thought she’d go for.

How could it be?

Opposites really do attract, right?

Not so fast!

There’s more than meets the eye

In my last post, “Law of Attraction or Opposites Attract?”, I said the following:

If you observe closely, you’ll find that every instance of attraction involves both opposites and similarities depending on what vantage point you are looking at it from.

I believe this holds true for the “good girls/bad boys” phenomenon too.

Let’s take a deeper look:

Although they appear to be opposites on a superficial level, our “good girl” and “bad boy” have a high degree of energetic compatibility.

The “bad boy’s” reckless persona is vibrating at the same frequency as the “good girl’s” taste for adventure and self-exploration.

With his confidence and experience, he offers her the opportunity to safely follow his lead while he introduces her to a way of living that breaks her free from the monotony of her routine life. He might not be the ideal guy for her in the long-term, but the energy of what he lives is highly compatible with the energy she’s curious to explore.

Ladies who are often considered “good girls”  frequently report that although “bad boys” are less than ideal dating candidates, they tend to exhibit leadership qualities that they find very appealing.

Contrary to outward appearances, this is not a simple one-sided case of “opposites attract.” It’s also a classic example of “like attracts like” when looked at from an alternative point of view.

The real opposite may not be what you think

Many so-called “good guys” are actually the true opposite of what some “good girls” are looking for.

“Good guys” make great employees because they show up on time, say all the right things, and never offend anyone, but their tendency to always play it safe  can very easily make them seem boring to someone who is already all too familiar with that world.

The world has never seen a creative person or a great leader who wasn’t willing to take the risk of saying or doing something that could be deemed offensive.

Some “good guys” tend to earn their reputation by avoiding such risks as if they were plagues. They may attend the same church as the “good girls”, but outside of superficial qualities they may have very little in common.

Let’s imagine a first date scenario:

The good girl says her favorite movie is “Romeo & Juliet.”

The good guy responds by saying all the right things. By playing it safe in order to avoid ruining the date, he fails to take her outside of her known world with a fresh opinion. He’s good, safe, harmless, and….BORING!

The bad boy laughs, gives 10 reasons why he hates that movie, and then changes the subject to politics AND religion. Although she completely disagrees with him and doesn’t necessarily enjoy having her favorite movie laughed at, the “bad boy” creates intrigue by offering a way of looking at the world that differs from hers. “Hmmm. In what other ways is he capable of doing this?” 2nd date!

This is not a formula, of course. It doesn’t always work this way. All women don’t look for the same thing. All “good girls” aren’t into “bad boys.” All “good girls” who are into “bad boys” aren’t into the same kind of “bad boys.” All “good guys” aren’t boring. The details of every situation differs so you’re not going to win someone’s heart with a formula you create from my blog. This isn’t dating advice nor is it a sweeping assessment of the wide range of personality types our world is filled with.

My point is much more fundamental and here it is:

When we observe instances in which opposites seem to attract, it’s only because we are focusing primarily on those elements in the situation that are different from one another. We’re comparing the outfits that are being worn, the jobs they work at, their respective genders, the color of their skin, their religious beliefs, the music they listen to, etc.

But we live in a world of great diversity and the possibilities for attraction extend far beyond the range of what can always be detected with the visible eye.

Why? Because there is more to what we are than our physical makeup and our outer appearances.

Everything in the Universe is made of energy and that includes us. We are energy-beings. This energy vibrates according to the pattern of our thoughts, words, feelings, character, and actions.

What does this have to do with tough-minded optimism?

Once you grasp why opposites seem to attract, you can make this understanding work for you.

There may be something you desire to have in your life; companionship, abundance, adventure, a fulfilling career, or improved health.

From your current point of view, the object of your desire may seem to be the complete opposite of who you are or what you possess.

Your desire for companionship, for instance, may be the complete opposite of your current predicament of loneliness. Your desire for abundance may be the complete opposite of your present condition of financial lack.

Don’t compare what your current situation LOOKS LIKE to what your desired situation LOOKS LIKE.

Raise your vibration by adjusting your attitude and tune into the frequency of well-being.  

Establish energetic compatibility between your thoughts and the conditions you desire. And with time and practice, you can magnetize those very things into your experience.

Cheers,

T.K. Coleman

Law of Attraction or “Opposites Attract?”

Does like really attract like?

Today’s post is inspired by a question that was posed to me about the Law of Attraction.

For those of you who may be unfamiliar with the concept, I define the law of attraction as a principle which expresses the following:

Whatever you radiate or send out into the Universe, in the form of thoughts, intentions, feelings, words, and actions, will inevitably be mirrored back to you in the form of circumstances and conditions which reflect the energy of what you sent out.

This principle is frequently expressed as “like attracts like.”

According to the Law of Attraction, if you’re constantly sending out thoughts of defeat, you will attract conditions which support the defeatist view of reality you’ve chosen.

Likewise, If you’re habitually sending out thoughts of well-being, you will attract conditions which support the positive thoughts you’ve chosen.

Now, here’s the question that was raised:

Does the scientific notion that “opposites attract” negate the Law of Attraction?

Here are my thoughts on the subject:

The scientific notion that opposites attract does not negate the Law of Attraction. It only attempts to provide a mechanical explanation for how sub-atomic particles with certain properties are attracted to one another. Simply put, positively charged particles (Protons) are drawn towards negatively charged particles (Neutrons) and vice versa.

It’s important to note that the above stated scientific principle is ONLY addressing subatomic particles. The laws of nature are not being violated when non-smokers leave the room because someone lights up a cigarette. Opposites do not always attract when we’re dealing with elements other than tiny particles in a science lab.

When teachers of the Law of Attraction say “Like attracts Like”, they are not referring to every single factor involved in the event of two elements being attracted to one another, but to the “energetic compatibility” of the elements involved.

By “energetic compatibility”, I simply mean that there is a common energetic quality that makes two elements drawn to each other.

The key is to remember that the Law of Attraction is not about two elements being IDENTICAL. It’s about two elements being COMPATIBLE.

Sometimes opposites are more alike than we suppose

Many things are opposites in one sense, while still being alike or energetically compatible because of other factors.

A Male & Female, for instance, are opposites in terms of gender, but they may be energetically compatible because of their romantic attraction to one another. It’s a classic case of “opposites attract” if you’re focusing on their gender differences, but it’s a simple instance of “like attracts like”, if you focus on the aspect of two lovers seeking companionship.

A Buyer & Seller are clearly opposites in terms of what they do, but they are energetically compatible because each one is looking for what the other provides. Hence they are drawn to each other. Once again, it’s a classic case of “opposites attract” if we focus on the role each person plays in the transaction, but it’s also an example of “like attracts like” if you look at the transaction as two traders looking for someone who possesses something desirable to exchange.

In every case where opposites seem to attract, we are simply observing two elements with opposite features that share a like tendency towards balance or resolution.

If you observe closely, you’ll find that every instance of attraction involves both opposites and similarities depending on what vantage point you are looking at it from.

I prefer to think of the Law of Attraction as “The Principle of Compatibility.”

In practical terms, you must entertain thoughts that are compatible with well-being if you wish to attract fulfilling experiences.

In reality, you might attract something that looks like the opposite of what you imagined, but it will always be compatible with the energy of whatever you choose to focus on.

Hopefully that helps.

Cheers,

T.K. Coleman

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