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Don’t micromanage your emotions

Having a bad day?

Feeling like you’re in a bit of a funk and can’t figure out why?

Feeling bad may not be the problem. The real issue may be that you’re feeling bad about feeling bad.

What’s wrong with me?

We all deal with various emotions throughout the day, but the ones who seem to be happiest and healthiest are those who allow themselves to feel whatever they feel without negative judgement.

Being sad or frustrated is a passing inconvenience, but labeling yourself as lazy, immature, unlucky, unenlightened, or evil as a response to what you’re feeling, is a fast and easy way to turn temporary discomfort into long-term suffering.

“But aren’t we SUPPOSED to be happy?”

I believe that “happiness” (as long as we define that term precisely enough) is the goal of life, but sometimes the best way to reach a goal is to back up a bit and pursue it indirectly.

C.S. Lewis wrote,  “the man who tries to measure how quickly he’s falling asleep is likely to remain awake all night.”

Constantly checking up on our happiness quotient typically results in more stress and often ends in a self-perpetuating loop of negative reinforcement.

Too much direct effort can lead to emotional micro-management and “analysis paralysis.”

Rather than attempting to change the way you feel, try changing the context within which your feelings are processed.

Building healthy habits turns happiness into a habit

One of the most practical habits you can develop is setting a few clearly defined goals that require you to take small, but specific, action steps towards results that are personally important to you.

These goals should be creatively fulfilling and mildly challenging. It’s usually best to choose goals that are separate from your existing familial and professional obligations. Make it about you and something selfish you would like to be, do, or have.

Most importantly, these goal MUST be significant enough to you that, even on your worst day, you will still be able to recognize the “beyond the moment” benefits they’ll bring to you by remaining committed.

What does this have to do with happiness and having a bad day?

As it turns out, quite a bit.

A sense of purpose not only enriches our lives in ways that far exceed being comfortable or problem free, but it also provides a context for our feelings that literally transforms emotions into creative energy.

When you’re living life with intention, you don’t feel bad about feeling bad because you experience the energy behind your emotions differently from those who lack what Napoleon Hill called “definiteness of purpose.”

To the creator, feelings aren’t burdens to carry, they’re a valuable source of fuel that can help drive you towards your own decided destiny.

That’s my two cents.

Cheers,

T.K. Coleman

Is it difficult to be positive?

Is it difficult to be positive?

This is a question many would respond to with a resounding “yes”. In fact, some people accept it as axiomatic that being positive is more difficult than being negative. I don’t think the question is as cut & dry as it appears.

Difficulty is as difficulty does

Consider the following question:

Is it difficult to stay awake and have energy?

Well, it depends. Did you get any sleep the night before? Have you eaten anything? If so, did you eat foods that provide the body with energy?

Whether or not you find it difficult to stay awake and have energy varies with how you answer those questions.

If you slept for two hours, skipped out on breakfast, and ate only a candy bar for lunch, you will probably find it much easier to fall asleep than to stay awake. It has very little to do with will-power and much more to do with proper physical conditioning.

A similar principle is at work when it comes to being happy and thinking positive.

“Dig the well before you need the water”

Many people invest very little effort into their mental conditioning and are still surprised when the benefits of such conditioning are absent.

They allow themselves very little room for relaxation, spend almost no time reading or watching inspirational material, and frequently focus their attention around conversations, news reports, and television programs that generate fear and anxiety. This sort of mental diet makes it psychologically impossible to meet the challenges of daily life with any significant amount of inner resources.

How can there be water to draw in a time of need, when one has never taken the time to dig the well?

Last Thanksgiving’s dinner wont satisfy today’s hunger

Can you imagine someone saying the following:

I don’t need to eat this week because I ate a huge meal last Thanksgiving!

Sounds odd, right? Yet, that’s exactly how we treat our spiritual and psychological health when we neglect our soul’s need for daily nourishment.

Being healthy, happy, & positive everyday is not difficult. It’s just as feasible as staying awake throughout the day when you’re at work. It only requires that you take care of your soul with the same level of consistency that you take care of your body.

Your happiness and health is worth whatever investment it takes. I encourage you to regularly make room in your life for activities that feed your soul. Don’t wait for a crisis. Take charge of your life and get on a steady diet of mental and spiritual health as soon as possible.

That’s my two cents.

What are your thoughts?

Cheers,

T.K. Coleman

If you liked this post, check out:

1. TK’s Two Cents “Your well-being is an emergency”

2. Perkiness & positivity are two different things

3. Peer Pressure Pessimism

Also, feel free to check out my weekly celebrity inspiration blog, Gossip Gone Good.

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