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The Name-Caller is one with the name

The greatest victim is he whose sense of power depends upon the victimization of another.

No one who truly understands the source and substance of his own strength can be manipulated into becoming a manipulator.

The need to classify certain individuals or groups of people as “lesser than” can only arise from a mind that is plagued by doubts about its own right to exist.

The Name-Caller is one with the name and the oppressor is inextricably bound by his own acts of oppression.

In the documentary Take This Hammer, James Baldwin offered the following observation of those who sought to belittle his dignity:

I know this, and anyone who has ever tried to live knows this. What you say about someone else – anybody else reveals you. What I think of you as being is dictated by my own necessity, my own psychology – my own fears and desires. I’m not describing you, when I’m talking about you – I’m describing me.”

Send it to the cemetary

cemetary“Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone; but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery.” -Malcolm X

The value of self-defense is not limited to physical and political bullies.

Psychological freedom, much like physical and political freedom, requires vigilance.

If you’re not militant about your well-being, this world will knock the wind out of your sails, flatten you on your back, and grind you beneath its feet.

Assertiveness, contrary to popular misunderstanding, is not the enemy of kindness; it’s the bodyguard of kindness. It’s there to protect what others choose to neglect.

If an abusive or manipulative energy pattern manifests in your life, do the most dignified, democratic, and diplomatic thing you can possibly do: ANNIHILATE IT!

You’re nobody’s clown. You’re nobody’s tool. You’re nobody’s slave. You’re nobody’s punching bag. You’re nobody’s emotional sponge.

You’re a being of intrinsic nobility.  Honor all, but take shit from none.

Joan Rivers brilliantly quipped, “If God wanted us to bend over he would put diamonds on the floor.”

Do. Not. Bend. Over.

Adopt a zero-tolerance policy towards all forms of invalidation and bow your head to no one who is unwilling to bow their head to you.

If it threatens to put an end to YOU, put an end to IT!

And for those who need me to state it explicitly, here’s my disclaimer and my two cents all in one:

Psychological vigilance isn’t about harming or killing people. It’s about getting rid of self-defeating patterns and self-negating perspectives.

It’s about looking at the elements of oppression that seek to be a part of your life and firmly saying, “let me help you die!”

Networking: No manipulation required

Manipulation is when you take advantage of others through the use of dishonest tactics or insincere practices.

Its distinctive feature has nothing to do with the desire to gain something of value from others.

We SHOULD approach every situation with the intent to gain something of value. That is simply a part of what it means to live one’s life to the fullest.

Everyone has needs, and relationships are one of the primary places where those needs are fulfilled.

Networking is when you form relationships for the purpose of creating value for all parties involved. It is the channeling of self-interest, self-authenticity, and self-expression towards the advancement of the individual and the collective.

Networking allows us to meet our needs through others without subtracting from their sense of well-being.

You don’t have to manipulate anyone in order to network effectively.

If you want something, be tactful, honest, and respectful as you make your needs known. And always seek to impart something of value before and after you take something of value.

When you go after the things you need by creating win-win scenarios for you and the people you interact with, you get to experience the kind of success that makes it easy to sleep and exciting to wake up.

Not only is that an entirely different process from manipulation, but, unlike manipulation, it consistently works and it wins lots of friends.

That’s T.K.’s Two Cents.

Cheers,

T.K. Coleman

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