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Do you want to have the last word or the last laugh? Doers and Debaters

In life, there are Doers and Debaters. Doers are people who act on their desires and follow their dreams regardless of what anyone else thinks. They do things that make them happy and they tend to live deeply satisfying lives. Debaters, on the other hand, are people who orient their lives primarily around the activity of scrutinizing and reacting to what Doers do. They don’t necessarily accomplish anything, but they rarely lack an opinion about those who do.

Debaters who appear to be Doers

The line is not easily drawn between the two groups. Some people who appear to be Doers are actually Debaters. They have the outer appearance of being a mover or a shaker and they might actually get a lot of “stuff” done or possibly make large amounts of money, but they are hesitant to move an inch when it comes to doing what they really want to do. While they may stay busy as far a physical activity is concerned, they fear taking the slightest risk in the direction of anything that might dare to make them feel alive. Their true nature as debaters is revealed only when one sees how passionate they are about arguing for their limitations when someone challenges them to be true to themselves.

Doers who appear to be Debaters

Sorting out the Debaters is equally thorny. Some people, like certain political analysts, film critics, and sports commentators, seem to be Debaters because they write and debate a lot about what’s going on in the world. But when you look beyond the surface, you find that they are very enthusiastic and enterprising people who are proactively creating opportunities through their passion for critical thinking and provocative discussion. Their true nature as Doers is revealed when one observes how consistently they show up to their blogs, podcasts, coffee shops, office desks, pulpits, and podiums to do the work that turns them on and makes life worth living.

What am I?

So, you may be asking “Well, am I a doer or a debater?”

In one sense, we’re all Doers. Either we’re doing what we really want to do or we’re doing what we’ve been conditioned to think we have to do. In the sense I’m discussing here, you’re a doer if you’re doing or preparing to do what YOU really want to do.

By the same measure, we’re all Debaters. When the subject of “living your dreams” or “practicing a self-authentic lifestyle” comes up, either we argue for our possibilities or we defend our limitations and excuses. In the sense I’m discussing here, you’re a debater if you’re the person who uses his logic and reasoning skills to keep coming up with really awesome reasons for why you just can’t live the life YOU really want to live.

Are you a doer or a debater?

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself:

 Am I doing that which is consistent with my highest values and excitement or am I doing something less?
 
Am I arguing for my limitations or am I allowing my possibilities?
 
Am I taking the emotional, mental, and physical steps towards expressing MY Authentic Self or am I too busy analyzing someone else’s life and work?
 
Am I living my life to have the last word or am I living my life to have the last laugh?

The choice is yours. Make it count. That’s my two cents.

Cheers,

T.K. Coleman

Don’t be tardy for the party!

“If you want to be respected by others the great thing is to respect yourself.  Only by that, only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you.”  ~Fyodor Dostoyevsky

One of my best friends just recently celebrated a birthday. Lots of party goers from all over gathered together to express appreciation for a life passionately lived and much-loved. This makes me think of the words of Mike Murdock who once wrote “Go where you’re celebrated not where you’re tolerated.”

Who’s celebrating you?

Although we all cherish moments when cheers are said to our name, not everyone in life feels celebrated. Many feel overlooked, some slighted.

Too often in life we try in vain to win the affection and praise of people whose interest in us may be casual at best.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting others to feel excited about you. But when you look to any particular individual or institution as the source of your validation, you’re always bound to end up disappointed and frustrated.

Party of one

When you recognize your social life to be a mirror of your psychological life, you can begin to create the changes you’re currently hoping others will provide.

Cultivate the habit of falling in love with yourself. Practice the art of emphasizing your own positive aspects. Develop a deep and abiding consciousness of self-respect. Get excited about the “man in the mirror.”

When you choose to be more fascinated with the story of your own life than you are with any tabloid, television drama, or CNN headline, you begin to witness firsthand the…

The power of being your own biggest fan

To the degree you prove willing to celebrate yourself, you will attract people into your experience who will reflect back to you your own self-love.

The Universe will match you up with those who find it easy to see your light and natural to praise it. If you want others to celebrate you, then you have to be willing to throw a party for yourself.

“Don’t be tardy for the party!” Start radically loving yourself right now!!!

That’s today’s two cents.

Cheers,

T.K. Coleman

Sometimes there’s no lesson to learn

Have you ever trusted someone only to have them disappoint you?

Have you ever failed to close on an important business deal?

Have you ever been in the middle of a great day, only to have drama spring up out of nowhere?

Have you ever asked for something and been told “no”?

Have you ever taken a risk and fallen flat on your face?

Have you ever tried ANYTHING that didn’t work?

Do I sound like a commercial that’s getting ready to sell you something for the low low cost of $19.95?

The unanticipated life

If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions, then welcome to life. Life is a place where the unanticipated happens and I don’t anticipate that changing anytime soon. Our experience of the unanticipated is not inherently problematic. The good and the bad of it all comes down to how we choose to process the experience. If you’re a regular reader of this blog, then you’re already familiar with two personal convictions I have:

1) Accepting disempowering beliefs leads to a quality of life that is unhealthy, unproductive, and unfulfilling.

2) Cultivating empowering beliefs leads to a creative, peaceful, and satisfying experience of well-being.

But today, I’d like to deviate a bit from my usual efforts at dismantling negative beliefs and defending empowering ones.

Today’s lesson is a non-lesson

My lesson today is simple:

Sometimes there’s no lesson to be learned.

Not getting what you want doesn’t ALWAYS mean there’s something you need to change or figure out.

Life is a process and everything isn’t meant to work out the first time around. Analyzing a situation or working extra hard isn’t going to change that simple fact.

No amount of therapy, pills, self-help courses, friends, advice, prayers, motivational speeches, sermons, effort, or thought will save you from the risks, mistakes, failures, and so-called “set-backs” that are built into the life experience.

What I didn’t learn from an experiment with failure

Back in college, as part of an ice breaker group routine at a retreat, some friends and I were faced with the difficult task of physically carrying each member of a group to a certain location without anyone’s body touching any of the objects that were deemed “out of bounds.” My friends and I figured out the perfect way to adjust our physicality and maneuver our bodies so we could outwit the rule makers and successfully accomplish the task. Our performance was stunningly excellent. Everyone was impressed with the way we navigated around inconveniently placed obstacles without letting them touch us. Then, at the very end, we failed.

 Because our time hadn’t run out, we still had a chance to start from the beginning and attempt completion. So we all huddled up and went into strategy planning mode. Everyone threw out a few suggestions for what we could do differently. After about 5 minutes of this, one of the group members said “hey, I think our approach was fine. It just didn’t work that time. Maybe we should just get out there and try the exact strategy again. We did and we succeeded.

Here’s the lesson I learned: There was no lesson to be learned from our failure. We had a great plan. It just didn’t work the first time around. That’s simply how life is. 

Maybe you’re doing just fine. Perhaps the only thing you need to do is not stop.

That’s my two cents.

Cheers,

T.K. Coleman

You have nothing to lose!

There are no sacrifices!

Remember your limitlessness!

Embrace your power! Release your fear!

Be courageously creative!

In this Universe of redemption and renewal, nothing is lost. The only thing we really “give up” is the false appearance of powerlessness and the anxiety it generates.

When you commit your mind to an empowering philosophy, you draw only Good into your experience. When you cater your conversation to well-being, the cosmos will serve only its most edifying elements to you. When you set your gaze in the direction of lovely things, lovely things will fly your way and make their nest with you. When you look for evidence that all is well, you develop the eyes to see that things could never be to the contrary.

Even that which appears to be harmful will, in the end, prove itself to have served a beneficial purpose.

So move boldly in the direction of your True Self. For there is nothing to be lost and everything to be gained.

Love & Light,

T.K. Coleman

Make it real by the way you feel

I choose to honor my feelings. By acknowledging emotion as a valuable element in the creative process, I position myself to gain greater control over my life.

Thought is the vehicle. Emotion is the engine.

 
Thomas Troward once wrote “It is thought which creates the form, but it is feeling which gives vitality to thought.” This is a very important insight for those involved in the process of using the power of thought to manifest desired realities. Forming a mental image of the life we long for is the initial step in the creative process. It is impossible to consciously create a life that we’re unable to first envision as possible. We must always begin with a new conception of self. This new conception or mental image is what Troward calls a “thought-form”.
 
The persistent contemplation of what we want creates a thought-form in the invisible realm which begins to germinate like a seed until it sprouts into manifestation on the physical plane. What Troward points out, however, is that the mere creation of thought-forms is not enough. In order for those thought-forms to gain momentum, one must meditate upon them with deep feeling. Jeff Grupp refers to this process as “Telementation”, which is the practice of “feeling reality into existence.”

Feel it real

If every thought were a seed, emotion would be the water that causes each of them to grow. Only those positive thoughts which have been brought to life by heartfelt emotional energy will attract to us the things we desire. It has been observed that an ordinary piece of steel has no attracting power, but when chemical energy rearranges the position of its molecules, it becomes magnetized and is able to attract objects up to ten times its weight. Emotional energy magnetizes our thought-forms. It provides the power which enables our thoughts to attract wonderful things to themselves.

If we want to change the way our life is going, we must alter the direction in which our emotional energy flows. The world responds to us according to the “frequency of our feelings.” If we wish to ever break free from the cycle of negativity that seems to characterize our lives, we must develop the discipline of learning to feel good independently of what’s going on around us. We simply cannot afford to wait on the right circumstances to show up before we give ourselves permission to be happy. By the exercise of creative imagination, we can transport ourselves into the feeling-state of a life that is already whole. These positive feelings will then assist our physical efforts in properly arranging the outer conditions which accurately reflect our new inner state. 

Bobby Mcferrin was right: “Don’t worry. Be happy.” Why? Because when we feel good, we have greater access to the inner and outer resources that make dreams come true. So hold the image of something pleasant in mind and infuse that image with the fire of emotion.

What you feel, you have the power to make real.

That’s my two cents! What do you feel?

T.K. Coleman

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