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Don’t give pessimism a free pass

Forget about being positive for today. I’ll compromise with you.

The next time you get ready to form a pessimistic conclusion about anyone or anything, just ask yourself the following 2 questions;

1) How do I know beyond a reasonable doubt that this negative conclusion is true?

2) Am I using the same standard of scrutiny and skepticism that I would use if someone were asking me to draw a positive conclusion about this situation?

Negative until proven positive?

When someone tries to put a positive spin on a situation, we usually become very rational and demand evidence of the highest kind. But when disempowering ideas are advanced, we tend to take those thinking caps right off like a jury that’s been paid under the table. It’s as if someone tricked us into making negativity the default position.

“If you can’t prove with mountains of scientific data that there’s something positive about this situation, I get to adopt the most depressing interpretation possible without having to answer any of the same tough questions about my pessimistic view. Then, on top of that, I get to call myself a “realist” and me and my buddies can make fun of you for being really stupid and naive. Okay?”

What? How did we get there?

A negative assumption is still an assumption

A buddy of mine recently asked me “do you try to make everything positive?” I replied “Not at all! I just refuse to give negativity a free pass. There’s no need to turn a negative situation into a positive one if you don’t assume that it’s negative to begin with.”

If being positive is difficult for you, I get it. If you’re at a place in your life where you don’t know what to think or do, why force yourself to smile if it feels fake? Fortunately, you have more options than being either negative or positive. Instead of assuming that things will turn out horribly, when you really don’t know what’s going to happen for sure, you can simply choose to be open to possibility.

Instead of being negative, be neutral. If you can’t be positive, be open to possibility. You’ll be surprised by how far that takes you.

At least that’s my two cents,

T.K. Coleman

An incident is not an issue

I’m convinced that most of us are not worn out by big issues. It’s just that we tend to squander our resources on the little things until we have nothing left in the tank when we attempt to address the big things.

It’s sorta like the guy who eats out a lot and spends $15-20 on food everyday. It doesn’t seem like a big deal to him in the moment. But when it’s time to pay a $200 bill two weeks later, he might wonder where his money went. In fact, he might not even think about that part at all. He might just blame the $200 bill for his stress and go on assuming that his life would be better if he didn’t have to pay that bill. In reality, his problem is not the bill. It’s money management. Had he more carefully budgeted his resources, he would have had little difficulty in handling the larger sized payments.

Just like we have bills to pay, we all have issues to deal with. 

Create an emotional budget

Two of the greatest assets we have in dealing with issues is time and energy.

Learning how to manage the amount of time we spend “sweating the small stuff”, will help us budget our energy in order to have more patience and creativity available for the big stuff.

Here’s a simple, yet practical, distinction that can reduce the amount of time we spend analyzing everyday problems or arguing over them with others.

An Incident is not an issue.

An “incident” is the occurrence of an unwanted event (ie. someone accidentally steps on your toe while you’re walking down the street).

An “issue” is a recurring problem (ie. the guy who stepped on your toe today is your co-worker and he somehow finds a way to do this to you everyday while you’re walking to your car after work).

If you don’t start a problem, there might not be a problem

When something unwanted happens, we tend to react in frustration by demanding lifestyle changes, long conversations, apologies, explanations, etc.

For example, when someone makes a mistake, it’s common for them to say something like “I need to be more careful.” While this judgement is possibly true, it isn’t necessarily the case.

Everybody makes mistakes. That’s simply a part of being human. Simply, acknowledging this fact is much more stress-free than turning every mishap into a judgement about your entire lifestyle or personality.

Maybe you don’t need to be more careful. Maybe you just forgot, or you were sleepy, or you had too much on your mind. Unless this is something you do 2-3 times a week and it’s starting to hurt your relationships, why not let it be the incident that it is?

Most of the unwanted things that happen on a daily basis are the result of encounters with people we’ll never see again (or at least not for a long time); common errors committed by individuals who normally get it right; simple mistakes that will naturally resolve themselves with time, and a host of factors that we’ll rarely have to address again if we let them slide.

Don’t turn a perfectly forgettable incident into a long drawn out issue. Conserve your energy. Youre gonna need it.

At least that’s the way I see it.

What about you?

T.K. Coleman

If you liked this post, check out:

Sometimes there’s no lesson to learn

If you enjoy my posts, be sure to also check out my weekly celebrity inspiration blog, Gossip Gone Good.

Is it difficult to be positive?

Is it difficult to be positive?

This is a question many would respond to with a resounding “yes”. In fact, some people accept it as axiomatic that being positive is more difficult than being negative. I don’t think the question is as cut & dry as it appears.

Difficulty is as difficulty does

Consider the following question:

Is it difficult to stay awake and have energy?

Well, it depends. Did you get any sleep the night before? Have you eaten anything? If so, did you eat foods that provide the body with energy?

Whether or not you find it difficult to stay awake and have energy varies with how you answer those questions.

If you slept for two hours, skipped out on breakfast, and ate only a candy bar for lunch, you will probably find it much easier to fall asleep than to stay awake. It has very little to do with will-power and much more to do with proper physical conditioning.

A similar principle is at work when it comes to being happy and thinking positive.

“Dig the well before you need the water”

Many people invest very little effort into their mental conditioning and are still surprised when the benefits of such conditioning are absent.

They allow themselves very little room for relaxation, spend almost no time reading or watching inspirational material, and frequently focus their attention around conversations, news reports, and television programs that generate fear and anxiety. This sort of mental diet makes it psychologically impossible to meet the challenges of daily life with any significant amount of inner resources.

How can there be water to draw in a time of need, when one has never taken the time to dig the well?

Last Thanksgiving’s dinner wont satisfy today’s hunger

Can you imagine someone saying the following:

I don’t need to eat this week because I ate a huge meal last Thanksgiving!

Sounds odd, right? Yet, that’s exactly how we treat our spiritual and psychological health when we neglect our soul’s need for daily nourishment.

Being healthy, happy, & positive everyday is not difficult. It’s just as feasible as staying awake throughout the day when you’re at work. It only requires that you take care of your soul with the same level of consistency that you take care of your body.

Your happiness and health is worth whatever investment it takes. I encourage you to regularly make room in your life for activities that feed your soul. Don’t wait for a crisis. Take charge of your life and get on a steady diet of mental and spiritual health as soon as possible.

That’s my two cents.

What are your thoughts?

Cheers,

T.K. Coleman

If you liked this post, check out:

1. TK’s Two Cents “Your well-being is an emergency”

2. Perkiness & positivity are two different things

3. Peer Pressure Pessimism

Also, feel free to check out my weekly celebrity inspiration blog, Gossip Gone Good.

The Coin of Heaven

“Thought is the coin of heaven. You must stop spending your thoughts, time, and money. Everything in life must be an investment. Stop all of the old mechanical negative inner talking and start a new positive and constructive inner speech from premises of fulfilled desire. Any time we feel misunderstood, misused, neglected, suspicious, afraid, we are spending our thoughts and wasting our time. Whenever we assume the feeling of being what we want to be, we are investing. We cannot abandon the moment to negative inner talking and expect to retain command of life.” –Neville Goddard

Imagination is the “coin of heaven.” It is the invisible currency which makes the attainment of all desires possible.

If a man can enter into the feeling state of already being that which he seeks to become, then he will have purchased the rights with the currency of imagination to experience that state as a physical reality.

Within us all is the capacity to revolutionize our lives through the creative power of thought. Whatever our circumstantial limitations may be, imagination is that which no external condition can devalue or depreciate.

Where our outer resources seem to be lacking, the inner resources of an open and creative mind are always overflowing with an infinite abundance of possibilities. Man only needs to look inside at the invisible treasure-house within and he will discover the coin of heaven, his own beautiful imagination, whereby anything he desires can be procured.

Sylvia Brown one said “whatever you ardently desire, vividly imagine, and enthusiastically act upon must inevitably come to pass.”

Let us dare to manifest the very best as we cease squandering our mental capital on ideas of limitation.

May we invest every thought in the contemplation of what we would like to become until our imagination is set on fire and consumes all that stands between us and the fulfillment of our destiny.

What are your thoughts and what are you spending them on?

T.K. Coleman

If you liked this post, check out:

1. I declare myself a being of Imagination

2. The productivity of play

3. I-Magi-Nation* II

 

 

REFUSE TO GET BITTER

I refuse to get bitter. Not because I love other people so much, but because I love myself too much to allow my positive energy to be wasted and consumed by the hatred of another person.

We have all been offended at some point in our lives. We have all felt betrayed or let down.

The temptation to harbor feelings of resentment towards someone who seems to create inconveniences in our lives is present on an almost daily basis.

I am not here to tell you to go find your enemies and give them a hug. I am here to tell you to have enough respect for your future to let it go.

“Just like that?”

Just like that!

The moment you allow yourself to be filled with bitterness, you have just become a psychological slave to the person you are angry at. The only way you can free yourself is by liberating that other person from the prison of unforgiveness that you are holding them in.

I know it’s not easy, but your destiny is at stake.

In the end, resentment is the ultimate enemy. It robs you of your focus and rapidly diminishes your creative powers.

For the sake of your purpose in life. For the sake of your higher good. For the sake of your own health. For the sake of those whom you have been called to positively influence, choose to forgive.

That’s today’s two cents.

Peace,

T.K. Coleman

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