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This Present Moment

“I get it now; I didn’t get it then. That life is about losing and about doing it as gracefully as possible…and enjoying everything in between.” -Mia Farrow 

I recently had coffee with a man in his 40’s.

“You should have kids”, he said. “Don’t be afraid. Don’t worry about money. Don’t worry about whether or not you’d be a good parent. Have some kids. You’ll figure all the other stuff out as you go along.”

“Do you have any kids?”, I asked?

“No!” was the reply.


“I screwed up”, he said. “I convinced my wife to wait until we could afford a house, but by the time that day came around, it was too late. Unforeseen medical problems now prevent us from having children. Today, there’s nothing I wouldn’t give to have a few kids. I should have just decided to have kids.”

None of us have any idea what tomorrow is going to take away.

Three nights ago my best friend’s 3-year old nephew almost drowned.

He’s been in critical condition ever since.

I just found out, 5 minutes ago, that he died.

My friends, it’s been said a million times but it bears endless repeating:

The present moment is the only reality we have. Everything else is a guess. If there’s anything or anyone in your life worth being thankful for, worth making time for, or worth saying “I love you” to, I invite you to reconsider the assumption that there’s a better time for these activities than right now.


T.K. Coleman

P.S. I don’t always reply as quickly as I would like to your comments, but I appreciate all of you lovely people out there who have ever taken the time to read my thoughts whether you comment or not. I’m sending you all thoughts of appreciation.

Forget the past. Let’s talk about you instead.

“The universe doesn’t care about your past. It is blind to it. The universe doesn’t care that I wore pink pants in high school. (Hey, remember Miami Vice?) The universe doesn’t care that I got in a fight with Francis Franken and lost. The universe doesn’t care about your MBA from UCLA, your drug-dealing father, or that you wet your bed in junior high. The universe simply doesn’t care. One person and one person only weaponizes past transgressions: you.” – M.J. DeMarco

Plain and simple; The Universe doesn’t do background checks.

People may judge you according to your personal history, but the Universe at large is responding to your own beliefs and actions.

What we are transcends history. Our beingness emanates from that which is beyond space and our identity can never be determined by the stories we create from within time.

To accept failure, mediocrity, and suffering as the unalterable effects of prior causes, is to become identified with a mental construct that represents only a portion of the Infinite Potential we’re capable of expressing.

You don’t have to come from a past of well-being in order to create a future of well-being, because the essence of who you are is well-being.

Let no one’s definition of you become more prominent in your thinking than the awareness you possess of your individual right to self-determination.

You define you. If you’ve failed to create a past that you’re proud of, then excercise your power to re-define what that past means for your future.

Let go of all memories which no longer serve you and resolve to actualize Tomorrow’s brightest possibilities.

Create a great day and manifest a beautiful future,

T.K. Coleman

“Look with wonder at that which is before you”

“Look with wonder at that which is before you.” -Florence Scovell Shinn

For better or worse, our past is behind us. As physical realities, past events no longer exist. The only life they have is as thought patterns in the mind. Any pain or pleasure we feel is a present reality exacerbated or mitigated by the thoughts we currently hold. Our past cannot neither oppress nor liberate us. Only our present moment thoughts about the past can hold us back or propel us forward.

Our past is not who we are. It is merely a recollection of those experiences which we can use or misuse in the process of defining who we will become.

Ernest Holmes wrote: “We have the ability to initiate new chains of causation.”

A “chain of causation” is a sequence of events where that which has already occurred serves as the determining factor for that which is yet to be. When we recognize our personal identity to be a separate phenomenon from what happens to us, we sever the links in our causal chain and make way for the construction of an entirely new life track.

We can set ourselves free from the regrets and seeming restrictions imposed on us by our prior choices and previous circumstances. The fixed nature of the past is no match for a mind that is fixed upon its freedom to create a new reality.

“So let us look with wonder at that which is before us”, knowing that what lies ahead will not be the continuation of sorrow and suffering, but the deliberation creation of the revolutionary and the remarkable.


T.K. Coleman

“No” can be a very kind word to say

Saying “yes” is not synonymous with love.

Sometimes we use the word “yes” as a tool to end conversations, calm people’s anxieties, give them hope, prove we care, avoid causing hurt feelings, or to sum it all up in a simple phrase, “be nice.”

When we say “yes” for any other reason besides truly wanting or intending to do what we promise, we not only create the very misunderstandings and hurt feelings we sought to avoid, but we also lose trust and respect in the process.

If you really want to show someone you care, then practice saying “no” to them. “No” is a way of saying the following:

“I take you seriously enough to tell you the truth. I see you as someone who is mature enough to handle a relationship that’s based on honesty. I trust you enough to believe that your assessment of my value goes beyond my ability to do everything you ask me to do. Furthermore, because I want you to get what you want, I’m going to dispel any illusions that you can acquire it through me at this time. Rather than waste your time by giving you the run around, I’m going to free you up to immediately act on any other options you may have.”

People may experience a little frustration when you send such a message to them, but they will appreciate that a lot more than you leading them down a winding dead-end path for days, weeks, or months.

Besides, whenever you do get around to saying “yes”, they will know you mean it and will value your word.

The next time you’re asked to do something that’s not right or possible for you, do the nice thing and just say “no.”


T.K. Coleman

If you enjoy my posts, be sure to also check out my weekly celebrity inspiration blog, Gossip Gone Good.

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