skip to Main Content

You Belong Here. Act Like It.

The world isn’t doing you some kind of great favor by letting you exist.

You have as much of a right to pursue happiness as anyone else. You have as much of a right to carve out your own path as anyone else. You have as much of a right to form your own ideas as anyone else. If you don’t have a right to be here, no one else does. If everyone else has a right to be here, so do you.

Hold your space with confidence. Stand your ground with poise. When you walk, walk with dignity. You don’t need to avert your gaze when standing in the presence of others. You don’t need to bow your head and whisper softly when you ask questions or express opinions. Be who you are without apology.

No one owns the air you breathe. Inhale it freely. No one owns the thoughts you think. Dream freely.  No one owns the convictions you feel. Feel what you want to feel. No one owns your body. Stand how you wish to stand. No one owns your voice. Say what you truly want to say. No one owns your capacity to choose. Live as you believe.

Some people say you only get one life to live. Others say you’ll get an afterlife when this one is over. Then there are those who say you’ll get many lives after this one.  Here’s my question: which life do you have to be in before you give yourself permission to live with a little self-respect?

All you will ever have is the present moment. The future is an idea that you’re contemplating right now. The past is a memory that you’re contemplating right now. The notion of another life at another time is an idea that you’re contemplating in this life at this time. When the future finally gets close enough for you to actually experience it, it will become the present moment. Whether you have one life or many lives, you always have only one moment in which you can live it: now!

Always keep working to increase your future value, but don’t wait to start carrying yourself like someone who has current value.

Start respecting yourself now. Start thinking for yourself now. Stop putting other people on a pedestal now. Stop waiting for external validation now.

You belong here. Act like it.

Now.

No Time for Begging

If you have to beg someone to be in a relationship with you, you’ll have to beg them to stick around down the road.

If you have to beg someone to be your friend, you’ll have to beg them to remain loyal when times get hard.

If you have to beg someone to buy your product, you’ll have to beg them to keep liking it after they buy.

If you have to beg someone to invest in your business, you’ll have to beg them to not regret the decision when they start to question themselves.

If you have to beg someone to go to a party with you, you’ll have to beg them to have a good time once you get there.

If you have to beg someone to believe what you want them to believe, you’ll have to beg them to stop falling apart once doubts begin to creep in.

If you have to beg at the beginning, you’ll have to beg midway through.

If you have to beg midway through, you’ll have to beg at the end.

Begging always begets more begging.

When people aren’t interested in what we have to offer, we often make the mistake of twisting their arm in an effort to guilt-trip them or frighten them into changing their mind. That kind of strategy might bring short-term relief, but it’ll also guarantee long-term headaches.

Here’s why:

No matter what course of action a person decides to take, there will be inevitable challenges and inconveniences along the way. This is true of every person and every path.

Do you know what happens to people who choose their own path? They almost always own up to the obstacles they face. Even when they suffer, they almost always take responsibility for their experiences. Do you know what happens to people when they feel like they’ve been coaxed into doing something that didn’t initially feel right? They almost always react with a spirit of bitterness and blame when things go wrong.

When you use desperation tactics to get what you want, you’ll almost always get more than what you bargained for. In addition to getting what you want in the short-term, you’ll also get a babysitting job in the long-term because someone is going to expect you to comfort and console them whenever they’re inconvenienced by the situation you dragged them into.

Avoid these kinds of situations with haste. As Mike Murdock once advised, “Go where you’re celebrated, not where you’re tolerated.”

Work with people who are happy to work with you. Surround yourself with people who are happy to have you in their circle. You don’t need to require a hero’s welcome everywhere you go, but you can always do better than begging.

Speak your truth, walk with conviction, and let your life speak for itself.  If someone isn’t buying what you’re selling, run quickly in the direction of the next possibility. Sell yourself well, but don’t sell yourself short. Keep pushing yourself to be great, but don’t push anyone to acknowledge how great you are.

As Jack Canfield wrote, “Some will. Some won’t. So what. Someone’s waiting.”

Adventures with someone who cherishes you and your gifts are waiting. There’s no time for begging. Move on with your life and don’t waste any more time on those who are unmoved by your life.

I Choose to be Good, but I Refuse to be Boring and Safe

“Is – is he a man?” asked Lucy.

“Aslan a man!” said Mr. Beaver sternly. “Certainly not. I tell you he is the King of the wood and the son of the great Emperor-Beyond-the-Sea. Don’t you know who is the King of Beasts? Aslan is a lion, the Lion, the great Lion.”

“Ooh,” said Susan, “I thought he was a man. Is he – quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion.”

“That you will, dearie, abd make no mistake,” said Mrs. Beaver; “if there’s anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they’re either braver than most or else just silly.”

“Then he isn’t safe?” said Lucy.

“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good.

C.S. Lewis, The Lion, The Witch, & The Wardrobe

In so many unfortunate ways, we have become a nation of boring people. The human species is inherently creative and unfathomably interesting. Yet, the complex, nuanced, beautiful, and sometimes messy stories that make us who we are all too often go untold because of the high price that seems to come with having a perspective.

One of the reasons I’ve always been drawn to the arts is because they remind us that we are essentially storytelling creatures, that we can’t be who we truly are unless each of us exercises the courage to be faithful to the reality of our own unique narratives. But we don’t need to be professional artists to change the world. Through entrepreneurship, innovation, technology, collaboration, simple conversation, and small acts of love, we can reclaim our rightful place as revolutionaries and creators.

We weren’t made to be cookie cutter personalities who all say and do the same things in order to avoid being misunderstood. We were made to let the brilliant and sometimes disturbingly blinding light of our individuality shine. This is what it means to live authentically. This is what it means to be a human being.

Back To Top