In my last post, I addressed a question about how the scientific notion of “opposites attract” relates to the popular idea known as “the law of attraction.” That post is a background for this one. To read, please click here. In a recent discussion with a friend and fellow blogger, Chaz (click here for his inspiring blog), I was prompted to think about the age-old phenomenon of the “good girl” who goes for the “bad guy” and how that relates, if at all, to the idea that “like attracts like”. What follows is my explorative effort to reconcile the two. Let’s dive in and see what happens, shall we? Cheers 🙂 -TK
The “good girl” and the “bad boy”
Let’s say there’s a quiet, shy, and reserved lady who’s regarded by everyone she knows as a morally conservative “good girl.” She’s never drank before; never uttered a swear word; never angered anyone; never rebelled against authority. She’s always been a good student, friend, and employee because she’s never failed to do the “right things”.
However, she has a budding taste for a more adventurous life. She’s not necessarily bored, but she does long to venture out beyond the confines of her known world. She would love to have someone in her life who challenges her to step outside of her comfort zones, take risks, and explore new possibilities.
Along comes the town “bad boy.” He breaks all the rules, takes hogwash from no one, rides a motorcycle, and rebels against authority as a profession. He arrogantly thinks he’s above the law, walks with a champion’s swagger, and feels quite sure of himself.
Although a part of our “good girl” wants the kind of man from the romantic comedies, she still finds herself drawn to this “bad boy” none of her friends ever thought she’d go for.
How could it be?
Opposites really do attract, right?
Not so fast!
There’s more than meets the eye
In my last post, “Law of Attraction or Opposites Attract?”, I said the following:
If you observe closely, you’ll find that every instance of attraction involves both opposites and similarities depending on what vantage point you are looking at it from.
I believe this holds true for the “good girls/bad boys” phenomenon too.
Let’s take a deeper look:
Although they appear to be opposites on a superficial level, our “good girl” and “bad boy” have a high degree of energetic compatibility.
The “bad boy’s” reckless persona is vibrating at the same frequency as the “good girl’s” taste for adventure and self-exploration.
With his confidence and experience, he offers her the opportunity to safely follow his lead while he introduces her to a way of living that breaks her free from the monotony of her routine life. He might not be the ideal guy for her in the long-term, but the energy of what he lives is highly compatible with the energy she’s curious to explore.
Ladies who are often considered “good girls” frequently report that although “bad boys” are less than ideal dating candidates, they tend to exhibit leadership qualities that they find very appealing.
Contrary to outward appearances, this is not a simple one-sided case of “opposites attract.” It’s also a classic example of “like attracts like” when looked at from an alternative point of view.
The real opposite may not be what you think
Many so-called “good guys” are actually the true opposite of what some “good girls” are looking for.
“Good guys” make great employees because they show up on time, say all the right things, and never offend anyone, but their tendency to always play it safe can very easily make them seem boring to someone who is already all too familiar with that world.
The world has never seen a creative person or a great leader who wasn’t willing to take the risk of saying or doing something that could be deemed offensive.
Some “good guys” tend to earn their reputation by avoiding such risks as if they were plagues. They may attend the same church as the “good girls”, but outside of superficial qualities they may have very little in common.
Let’s imagine a first date scenario:
The good girl says her favorite movie is “Romeo & Juliet.”
The good guy responds by saying all the right things. By playing it safe in order to avoid ruining the date, he fails to take her outside of her known world with a fresh opinion. He’s good, safe, harmless, and….BORING!
The bad boy laughs, gives 10 reasons why he hates that movie, and then changes the subject to politics AND religion. Although she completely disagrees with him and doesn’t necessarily enjoy having her favorite movie laughed at, the “bad boy” creates intrigue by offering a way of looking at the world that differs from hers. “Hmmm. In what other ways is he capable of doing this?” 2nd date!
This is not a formula, of course. It doesn’t always work this way. All women don’t look for the same thing. All “good girls” aren’t into “bad boys.” All “good girls” who are into “bad boys” aren’t into the same kind of “bad boys.” All “good guys” aren’t boring. The details of every situation differs so you’re not going to win someone’s heart with a formula you create from my blog. This isn’t dating advice nor is it a sweeping assessment of the wide range of personality types our world is filled with.
My point is much more fundamental and here it is:
When we observe instances in which opposites seem to attract, it’s only because we are focusing primarily on those elements in the situation that are different from one another. We’re comparing the outfits that are being worn, the jobs they work at, their respective genders, the color of their skin, their religious beliefs, the music they listen to, etc.
But we live in a world of great diversity and the possibilities for attraction extend far beyond the range of what can always be detected with the visible eye.
Why? Because there is more to what we are than our physical makeup and our outer appearances.
Everything in the Universe is made of energy and that includes us. We are energy-beings. This energy vibrates according to the pattern of our thoughts, words, feelings, character, and actions.
What does this have to do with tough-minded optimism?
Once you grasp why opposites seem to attract, you can make this understanding work for you.
There may be something you desire to have in your life; companionship, abundance, adventure, a fulfilling career, or improved health.
From your current point of view, the object of your desire may seem to be the complete opposite of who you are or what you possess.
Your desire for companionship, for instance, may be the complete opposite of your current predicament of loneliness. Your desire for abundance may be the complete opposite of your present condition of financial lack.
Don’t compare what your current situation LOOKS LIKE to what your desired situation LOOKS LIKE.
Raise your vibration by adjusting your attitude and tune into the frequency of well-being.
Establish energetic compatibility between your thoughts and the conditions you desire. And with time and practice, you can magnetize those very things into your experience.