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I am independent

The quality of my life is independent

 
I don’t need to have what others refer to as a “good day” in order to create a great life.

My seemingly bad days are simply opportunities for me to demonstrate the superiority of character over circumstance.

By choosing to be larger than my conditions, I teach others how to transcend their own stumbling blocks to happiness and inner peace.

My sense of enthusiasm is independent

 
I don’t need my life to be easy in order for it to be exciting.

My challenges are there to provoke my hidden creative powers and reveal my underestimated levels of intelligence.

By letting go of my resistance to life’s difficulties and inconveniences, I transform my trials into teachers who show me how to bring a sense of flair to every moment.

My success is independent

 
I don’t need to be protected from undesirable events and unpleasant elements in order to effectively achieve my goals.

My contrasting experiences constitute the very substance out of which my dreams are made.

By looking at unwanted conditions as the raw materials for my desires, I gain the ability to assimilate them into my creative process in meaningful and enriching ways.

My significance is independent

 
I don’t need to be void of enemies, critics, and naysayers in order to be validated as a person of great worth.

All disapproval and contempt directed at me is only confirmation that I am effectively shaking things up and actively creating change in the world.

By looking at opposition as a sign that I am challenging the status quo, I reinforce my conviction that I really am a part of an ongoing revolution to empower myself and others.

I am Independent

I am not defined by anything outside of my own nature as an expression of The Infinite.

I am not limited by anything other than the beliefs I choose to accept as a free individual.

I am independent because I always get to choose what I believe, what I do, and how I express what I already am.

T.K. Coleman

Transcending the dimension of disagreement

From defending positions to embracing possibilities

There is a level of thought and conversation that exists beyond the dimension of disagreement.

At this level, conversations are vibrational rather than verbal. It’s no longer just a matter of listening to what each other says, but of artfully rendezvousing with the spirit of every person. The positions we tend to argue over are often just indirect ways of expressing sentiments like “I love you”, “I want to share with you”, “I want to create with you”, “I want to delight in the pleasures of life with you”, “I need to know I belong”, “I want to remember that I am beautiful.”

As we look beyond words, towards our more fundamental desire to connect energetically, we gain access to higher perspectives that dissolve defensiveness and enable us to relate to the seemingly unrelatable. From this more expanded level of awareness, we can swing open new vistas of opportunity for creativity and collaboration.

Opening the mind to enter the heart

To get there, we must open our mind to possibilities within dialogue that don’t require the negation of another person’s point of view.

Below, I’ve listed 5 questions that have been very useful in helping me move beyond my need to be right.  After testing them out on myself, I’m now sharing them with you. 

1) What if I accepted each instance of being challenged or misunderstood as an opportunity to deepen my understanding of communication and my embodiment of compassion?
 
2) What if  I experimented with responding to others in ways that don’t require me to be right and them to be wrong?
 
3) What if I spent more time exploring the results of  engaging my dissenters & critics in a playful lighthearted manner?
 
4) What if I chose to see arguments as dances instead of battles; where the goal was not to defeat an opponent or enemy, but to figure out a way to synchronize with my partner’s contrasting style through the use of creative moves and clever maneuvers?
 
5) What if I listened, at least every once in awhile, to a point of view I disagreed with and commented ONLY on the aspects I AGREED with and left everything else out?

Within the past month, I have observed a much calmer and lighter disposition in myself as a result of quietly reflecting on these questions.

It’s still a learning process for me, but I am thoroughly enjoying the options that are opening up for me as I make “being right” less and less of a priority in my life.

Dancing in the open fields of possibility

In the words of the poet Rumi, “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.”

Our positions are like points in space. The field, Rumi speaks of, is the space itself which gives meaning and context to all positions and points. This space, or field of awareness, is the Source of true wisdom, peace, and contenment. It is also where life and laughter is born.

We don’t access this field by arguing and analyzing. We must learn to descend into our hearts and adopt a more intuitve mode of knowing. As we spend more time in this field, we develop a vibrational vocabulary. And we find ourselves communing with all of life’s diversities and discrepancies in the language of love.

I’m on my way to this field right now. I hope to see you there too. Maybe we’ll create some fun games to play or perhaps we could just dance together. Either way….

Cheers,

T.K. Coleman

You ARE the opportunity: Moving beyond ideas of scarcity & competition Pt 2

In my last post, I  promised to give you my two cents on why I think it’s misguided to place faith in the world of consensus opinion, market research, familial support, & historical precedent as a reliable place to look when trying to figure out who you are and what you should do with your life. If you’d like to read the most recent post, click here. For the conclusion of that post, continue reading. I hope you enjoy.

The crowd doesn’t know what it wants until you tell them

The problem with relying on external forms of guidance to validate your personal convictions and creative impulses is that, more often than not, the world has no clue what it wants or needs until someone with a vision goes out and creates it first.

The very society in which we live is anchored in technologies and tools that the masses never requested or demanded. Once those inventions were created, however, the world expanded and made room for them. Now, we can’t imagine living without these previously unnecessary commodities.

Henry Ford is known for having said “If I would have listened to my customers, I would’ve given them a faster horse.”

It’s ALWAYS a bad time to follow your heart

Ford’s story is not the exception. It’s the general rule.

Every story of successful people, tells the narrative of an individual who dared to take risks BEFORE they had an audience, BEFORE they had an oscar award, BEFORE they had a record contract, BEFORE they had a single customer, BEFORE they had a book deal, BEFORE their skills were fully polished, BEFORE they had mastered their craft, BEFORE anyone in their families said “I believe in you”, or BEFORE some other seemingly essential component was already in place.

One of the harshest realities of life is that the world is never going to give you permission to act on your dreams.

Being yourself actually works

One of the most liberating insights you’ll ever discover is the realization that you don’t need the world’s permission anyway, because the universe was designed to accommodate your dreams.

Being yourself actually works. Self-Authenticity, when consistently practiced, causes you to attract the conditions, relationships, opportunities, ideas, and resources you need to fulfill your vision.

When we wait until we get enough money, time, or status, to follow our inner callings, we remain stuck in the same cycles of misery and malcontent. Life really works the other way around. It’s the willingness to act on Faith that brings the money, time, status, or whatever else is required.

You’ll have what it takes when you know you already have what it takes

You have what it takes to make it, but you’ll never make it until you realize that you have what it takes to make it BEFORE anyone else agrees with you.

Don’t wait on the evidence. It’s not going to show up until you do first.

Don’t wait on a following. They wont show up until you take the lead.

Don’t wait on anyone to encourage you. Others will provide encouragement after you learn to encourage yourself.

Don’t wait for anyone to take you seriously. When you take yourself seriously, the world will eventually catch on.

Don’t wait for anyone to give you an opportunity. Be the opportunity.

Move beyond the  ideas of scarcity and competition by trusting your ability to make the world adjust to you.

That’s all I have to say today, folks.

This is your advancement advocate, T.K. Coleman, and that’s my two cents

CREATE a great day!

I am a perfect unfolding of the wholeness of God

I am whole as is.

I am well as is.

I am wise as is.

My pace in life is not measured by clocks and calendars, but by my steady willingness to love myself more and more, bit by bit, day by day.

Rather than evaluating myself solely in terms of the results I achieve, I choose to express appreciation for the sincere efforts I have made to become more aware and expressive of the good within me.

I count even my frustrations as markers along the path, letting me know that I am moving into a larger sense of self in which older standards of happiness and success no longer apply.

Asserting my right to evaluate my life according to my own terms and values, I choose to transcend conventional understandings of “progress” in favor of a more nurturing point of view.

I affirm that I am whole.

I affirm that I am well.

I affirm that I am wise.

I possess none of these qualities for what I have done.

Yet, I embody them all for I am a perfect unfolding of the wholeness of God.

T.K. Coleman

Today doesn’t have to be the best day ever

Here’s an insight I’ve learned, and continue to learn, from my observations of people (including myself) who live healthy and deeply fulfilled lives:

You don’t have to be in an enthusiastic, celebratory, stereotypically happy mood all the time in order to live an amazing, adventurous, and meaningful life.

Let happiness come to you

One of the great insights of contemporary positive psychology is that happiness, like money, is usually most successfully achieved through indirect means

This doesn’t mean that happiness can’t be your #1 priority in life. I, personally, am of the persuasion that nothing matters more than consistently feeling as good as possible in a variety of ways that are both healthy and stimulating. However, too much direct focus on being happy can lead to an obsessive preoccupation with attempting to analyze and manage one’s emotions.

C.S. Lewis once wrote “the man who tries to measure how quickly he’s falling asleep is likely to remain awake all night.”

Sometimes you have to focus your attention on something other than the result you wish to achieve in order to create that result.

Banging your head against the wall for a solution while judging yourself for not being where you want to be only solidifies yourself in the same state.

When you feel unhappy, that means you’re alive

Being in an uncomfortable or low mood state is not a sin that needs to be forgiven nor is it a disease that needs to be cured.

It simply comes with the territory of being an evolving person who’s here to learn, grow, and actualize their creative potential.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do when you’re in a low mood state is to simply accept the fact that you are where you are and then engage in some form of action that redirects your attention.

Get your energy flowing

Take a walk, go exercise, journal, blog, work on an unfinished project, or anything else that isn’t directly aimed at “studying” your unhappiness.

Consistent, concentrated, and creative involvement in relationships & activities that you find meaningful and challenging is one of the most time-tested routes to a joyous life.

While you may feel some resistance about getting started, you are far more likely to feel better once you begin to build momentum.

Furthermore, when you do something that you consider valuable, you tend to feel positive emotions like pride, confidence, and appreciation afterwards. These are among the richest of emotional rewards.

The life you love is still there even when you’re not in the mood to believe in it

If today or any other day seems to be a drag, do the best you can, within reason, to feel better. If your best efforts don’t work, then let it go and try not to attack, criticize, or hate yourself for this.

Today doesn’t have to be the best day ever, but it can still be a decent day for respecting yourself, nurturing your health, and showing up to do the work you love regardless of how you feel and irrespective of how little you may accomplish. 

Besides, pretty soon you WILL feel better. When that moment comes, you’ll thank your low mood self for hanging in there when times were tough.

At least that’s my two cents.

Cheers,

T.K. Coleman

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