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Focus on YOUR end of the deal

Sometimes we deny ourselves opportunities because we’re overly concerned about someone taking advantage of us.

While there may be a time and place for inquiring into other people’s motives, it is often nothing more than a distraction from the issue that really matters:

What do you want and will the course of action you’re taking lead to the attainment of your desire?

Focusing on other people’s motives can easily give rise to a defensive attitude which causes our creative focus to be misplaced.

I’ve seen people fail to close highly profitable business deals simply because they were afraid that the other party would perceive the transaction as a “steal.”

I’ve seen people refuse to participate in activities that would have greatly benefitted their health and happiness merely on account that someone would be “making money off of them.”

This defensive-minded attitude of “playing not to lose” can be very costly.

When I walk into a restaurant, I’m not under the illusion that the employees adore me. I’m fully aware of the fact that my value to them lies in the money I spend there. In other words, they are there to make money off of me. No surprise. This fact, however, is irrelevant to me. What matters to me is that I get what I want out of the transaction. I go to the restaurant for a good meal and friendly service. As long as that desire is satisfied, who cares if they profit from me? Even if the manager laughs behind my back and thinks of me as a silly patron for spending money on food that isn’t “worth” the cost, who cares? Even if the owner of the restaurant feels like he’s ripping me off. who cares? The only question that matters to me is “did I get what I wanted out of the deal?”

Life is far more efficienct and enjoyable when we focus on what we want than when we obsess over what someone else is getting out of the deal.

There may be people out there who are trying to use you, but if you can stay more focused on creating what you want than on defeating their agenda, you wont have to spend much time worrying about them.

That’s my two cents,

T.K. Coleman

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