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Love them enough to let them struggle

I’ve been told that a drowning man cannot be saved if he persists in his struggle. Unless he completely submits to the assistance being offered to him, he will not only lose his own life, but he will also submerge his would-be savior in the process.

If someone isn’t willing to let go of their struggle, then you must be ready to step back and let life do the teaching.

No one is served when you sacrifice your well-being in an attempt to help someone who is not receptive to you or your efforts.

People don’t need us to save them. They need us to respect their God-given freedom to discover their knowledge of self under terms and conditions which honor their autonomy.

This is an attitude which can be held without irritation or self-righteous judgement. There is never a need to bemoan those who “don’t get it.”

Respect for another person’s freedom doesn’t come from frustration, but from an understanding that everyone has the potential to be the dominant creative force in their own life and, if the opportunity is given, they will inevitably unearth their inner treasures for themselves.

If someone is asking for your help, feel free to give them everything you can. If someone you care for, however, refuses assistance, then love them enough to let them struggle.

This Post Has 2 Comments
  1. So well stated, so true. I often give advice and trying to help people … yet recently I’ve allowed myself to walk away or disconnect (lovingly) from those that keep repeating their story and not grasping the options I’ve offered.
    They like their drama and that’s where they belong for themselves at that time. I find myself learning from these lessons … slowly … I try different language, different energy but in the end I realize that while I have grown, they are not truly ready to expand.
    This is a good reminder: not only do we disallow them to bring us down, we also can perhaps stop earlier in our attempt to “save” them and use our energy for either ourselves or for those who are ready to listen.

    1. Absolutely. It can be very exhausting trying to force help on another. That exhaustion can easily turn into resentment which becomes a great hinderance to our own development. Of equal import is the fact that we can actually HELP people by leaving them alone. One of the friends who had the greatest influence in my life just so happened to be a person who felt no pressure to interfere with my evolution.

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