Here’s the real meaning of “I can’t”:
I would like to have x, but only if x comes to me in accordance with the specific terms and conditions to which I am wedded. If I am required to sacrifice, modify, or compromise these terms and conditions in order to obtain x, then I would rather cease pursuing x because my terms and conditions are a greater priority to me than merely having x at any cost. I want x, but there is something else that I want more than x. Therefore, I choose not-x.
Here’s the condensed version:
I can’t = In light of the cost, I wont.
You’re never the victim of “no.”
You’re only a victim when you sell yourself on the idea that you can’t do what you want because of something other than your own incentive structure.
“Yes” is always an option if you’re willing to fight for your possibilities, negotiate your priorities, and sacrifice some luxuries.
When it comes to how you live your life, can and can’t have nothing to do with it.
Thinking in those terms just makes you a victim.
Either you’re okay with paying the costs for what you want or you’re not.
If you’re not willing to pay the costs, that’s okay. Just own it. You may not get some of the things you want, but at least you’ll still have your power to choose.