A Friend is Someone Who is Good at Not Getting Along With You

The character of a team is revealed not by how much affection its members display during times of agreement, but by how well its members learn to communicate and coexist during moments of dispute. Getting along when we agree is evidence neither of compatibility nor camaraderie. Getting along when we agree is just a part of… Continue reading A Friend is Someone Who is Good at Not Getting Along With You

Can I Tell YOU A Secret?

It’s easy to get frustrated at the people we love when they fail to share their most intimate truths with us. It’s far more challenging to do the work of creating spaces within our relationships where others feel safe enough to share what they genuinely think and feel. Sometimes we are not fully honest with… Continue reading Can I Tell YOU A Secret?

Space for intimacy

Space is as necessary to a relationship’s health as intimacy. Roger de Bussy-Rabutin wrote, “Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it inflames the great.” Perhaps this is because absence, like wind, is a force unto itself. For those who make themselves available to its presence, space reveals itself… Continue reading Space for intimacy

The unexpressed life (is not worth living)

“Don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.” -Franz Kafka None of us want to be abandoned. None of us want to feel rejected. No one wakes up in the morning hoping they will hear… Continue reading The unexpressed life (is not worth living)

“No” can be a very kind word to say

Saying “yes” is not synonymous with love. Sometimes we use the word “yes” as a tool to end conversations, calm people’s anxieties, give them hope, prove we care, avoid causing hurt feelings, or to sum it all up in a simple phrase, “be nice.” When we say “yes” for any other reason besides truly wanting… Continue reading “No” can be a very kind word to say